


Becoming Mother

by Luna_Roe



Series: Leah & Jacob [1]
Category: Far Cry (Video Games), Far Cry 5
Genre: Angst/Hurt, F/F, F/M, Fatherhood, Fluff, Mending Bridges, Motherhood, Multi, Pregnant Deputy, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-28
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:34:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 29,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22931842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luna_Roe/pseuds/Luna_Roe
Summary: In the middle of the night, Rook finds herself running from one monster and into the arms of another: The Project at Eden's Gate. More specifically right into the arms of the monsters that were the Seed family. But, if she was going to survive the night, not just for her but her child, she had no other choice. What followed, no one could have foreseen. Except a certain Father.
Relationships: Female Deputy | Judge/Faith Seed, Female Deputy | Judge/Jacob Seed, Female Deputy | Judge/John Seed, Female Deputy | Judge/Joseph Seed
Series: Leah & Jacob [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1676788
Comments: 47
Kudos: 113





	1. Midnight Encounters

**Author's Note:**

> Hello all!
> 
> I've been in love with this game for a while now. And for the past few months I've noticed that some amazing authors have been writing stories with the concept of a "Mother" and just fell in love with this idea. So, I had to take a crack at it. If you like it please leave a Kudo and comment! I love seeing comments from you guys!  
> Enough of me blabbering on!
> 
> Luna  
> ~~

Life was a funny thing. How ironic that someone tasked with keeping the peace, helping people, and protecting the community was the one person that needed saving. There was no telling how far I had run or in what direction. The clouds shielded the moon and I couldn’t see through the trees. But I knew I needed to get away. There were sounds coming from ahead. It sounded like a small group was chatting. I could see lights as I continued my trek forward. I had to get away! I had to make it out of _his_ clutches!

“GET BACK HERE!” He yelled after me.

I pushed harder, faster! Running hurt. So many broken bones… broken ribs. But I couldn’t stop, God I couldn’t stop! The trees finally broke away and opened to what looked like a pretty little church. There, sitting on the tailgates of the two different trucks was the Seed family: Jacob, John, Faith, and Joseph.

My eyes widened, as did theirs, but the sound of _him_ closing in caused me to run for them. They had to be better than _him_ … or at least that’s what the fear told me. I ran for them, but the pain of my no doubt broken ribs caused me to wince and lose my balance. Jacob noticed instantly and sprang into action before he could think the better of it. With expert reflexes, he caught me before I fell to the ground.

He heard the man yelling in the woods and with a quick survey of my body – the bruises surfacing, the ribs, and my busted lip – it was clear I was running from an attacker. It was clear the attacker wasn’t one of their followers. Jacob ushered me to Faith’s arms and instructed her to hide me on the other side of the trucks. I saw the three Seed brothers stand tall before Faith helped me hide behind the vehicles.

The woman held my hand, her arm around my shoulders protectively, as my attacker broke the tree line. Panic was rising. What had I done? I had run from one horror and right into the hands of another! Faith gave my hand a gentle squeeze as Joseph spoke, “What brings you here, my child?” He was the Father by that tone of voice.

“Cut that ‘child’ bullshit. You seen a woman run by here?” Came the snarled reply. Jacob must have either taken a step towards him or shot a glare because the next words were, “I’m looking for my girl. We had a disagreement and she ran off. Dangerous here at night, ya know? Wolves and all.”

Joseph spoke uneasily, “Yes, wolves….”

John spoke next, “It’s just been us for hours. Haven’t seen anything but the clouds.” Thank God for the man! His lawyer voice was soothing and believable!

Faith and I heard the man huff dissatisfied and then run off back into the woods. When we couldn’t hear him anymore, she looked at me in the eyes and asked softly, “Who was that?”

Tears were stinging my eyes. One monster was gone, for now. But what was to come of me now that I had given myself into the hands of the four monsters I had been fighting? Feeling hopeless, I answered her truthfully, “The father of my baby….”

Joseph, concerned for what happened to me, gently said, “Deputy, I think we should put our differences aside for now. You need help.” Joseph was concerned as he glanced down at my flat stomach. He knew I was pregnant before any of his siblings had figured it out. He had seen the signs when the helicopter crashed on his island the night I arrested him. He saw me slowly come to, immediately cradle my stomach and quell the panic that rose in my throat. He had been close to pressing a hand to my stomach when Nancy came over the radio concerned about us. His hand moved away from me as he grabbed the hanging headset to answer. His eyes never left my stomach.

I nodded, really not being in a position to protest, and said through the pain, “I think my ribs are broken.” Then, the adrenaline suddenly stopped, and I couldn’t stay awake. The world went black as I heard Faith call to me worried.

~~

None of them had foreseen this. None of them had even thought it possible for this to happen. There, in Seed Ranch, was the Junior Deputy of Hope County. She had clearly been running from someone. The types of wounds that she had were made by another human, no doubt. The Seed brothers had seen enough abuse to know it when they see it. What terror had she endured to choose to run to them for safety?

The physician stepped up to the three men and said, “She is sleeping now. It took quite a high dose of sedative to calm her down. She is convinced someone is after her right now.” They didn’t doubt it, when she woke and realized they had taken her from the church to Seed Ranch, deep in enemy territory, she had freaked.

Jacob scoffed and stalked over to the wall to just observe everything play out. John looked at the Deputy with worry. Faith was still by her side, holding her hand. Joseph nodded and asked, “How bad are her wounds?” She had been in Hope County just about as long as he had. She arrived not long after he had. He had even tried to get her to join his congregation in the beginning. He could remember running into her at the store in Fall’s End as they both got eggs or milk. He could remember running into her at the gas stations dotted around the county. He remembered every encounter he had with the young woman that had become a beacon of hope for the Resistance. He remembered how she would smile at him.

The physician sighed and said, “Not too serious. But… there is something that worries me.” He paused and stepped closer to whisper to Joseph. The words were hollowing to the preacher. The physician whispered, “She said she’s pregnant.”

Joseph nodded, letting the physician know that he was aware of this fact. The man looked to the other Seed siblings, noting that they all seemed to know as well. With a nod he continued, “She needs some tests that I am ill-equipped to perform.”

He nodded and waved his hand, “Tell my followers what you need, and they will get it.” Then he walked up to the young woman that was asleep on the couch in the front of the Ranch. John was there, still unsure if she was really lying there.

~~

The wolves had come in while she slept, sniffing her wounds. With any luck they would pick up the scent of her attacker. Jacob had turned into a man on a mission. Joseph and John both knew that if the attacker was unlucky enough to be caught by Jacob or his wolves he would regret ever being born.

They knew that the sedative would wear off soon. They knew that the hardest part was going to be when she woke and remembered where she was. Joseph began gnawing on his finger, contemplating what the best way to make her comfortable was. That is, until the Deputy woke.

She violently bolted upright, hands immediately going to her stomach protectively. Her eyes, wide open, took in her surroundings. Her eyes locked on John’s. Her body going eerily still immediately. Then, she looked to Joseph. Her worry was building, and the two brothers knew it.

“Deputy, I’m going to stand up so I can step back.” John said, breaking the silence. He didn’t move until the Deputy nodded. Once John was by Joseph, he added, “Do you remember how you got here?”

She began feeling the pain her body was in. Her face told them as much. She ignored John’s question and asked one of her own, “Is my baby… is my baby okay?”

Joseph nodded, motioning to the machinery that had been procured for the physician, “Our physician checked on the baby. They’re okay.” He slowly sat down and asked, “Deputy, the man that hurt you… Faith told us he is the father of your baby. No man should ever do what he did. He had no right.” He had to pause to calm down. Horrid memories of his childhood coming to mind. He continued once he was composed again, “Did he hurt you because you told him you were pregnant?”

She stared at him, giving no sign that she would divulge that information. Her eyes were assessing them, and he could see her mind making calculations.

With an understanding nod, he said, “Who would you like us to call?” He noted the raised brow, the single raised brow, at his question.

John was the one to clarify, “Truce, remember?”

Two seconds ticked by before a small giggle escaped her lips. Then another and another. Soon she was holding her stomach and full on laughed in between painful wincing. Her smile was wide and infectious as the two brothers joined in. She calmed enough to say between laughs, “You meant it! You actually meant it!” Once the three of them settle down, having attracted the attention of Jacob and Faith – pulling them into the same room as the laughing trio – she said, “If you could radio for Adelaide, that would be much appreciated.”

~~

_Two Weeks Later_

They had surprisingly been very kind to me. No one hurt me. No one treated me poorly. No one stopped me from leaving either. When it came down to it, they acted like friends. In the time that I had been unconscious the Seed siblings had gone on quite the escapade. Faith had gotten a few baby items for me, happily writing a little card to go with the gift that stated it was from all of the Seed family. When I had gotten home and opened it, I saw baby clothes, pacifiers, bibs, and even a sweet little carved wooden wolf. It was the sweetest gift an enemy had ever given me. In a very confusing way, I missed being around them.

My recovery was a topic that both the Resistance and the Project wanted to be kept up to date on. The Seeds sent get well soon cards all the time. Faith sent flowers, daisies, tulips, and the like. John sent a sweet little onesie that I was sure was more expensive than my entire wardrobe. Jacob sent another carved wolf. Joseph, however, surprised me one night. I was in the hospital, alone, and just flipped through the radio channels. Suddenly, on a forgotten channel that old truckers used to use, I heard his voice: Joseph Seed.

“Deputy, can you hear me? Over.” Came his voice. The tone suggested that he didn’t expect an answer. It would have been easy, and smart, to just flick off the radio and go to sleep. But I apparently didn’t want easy and was clearly not smart.

“I can hear you. Over.” I replied.

There was silence and then a soft question rang out, “Deputy?” There was a pause and then an added, “Over.”

It brought a smile to my face as I leaned my head back on the pillow, “Yes? Over.”

“I… I don’t know how to start this conversation. If I’m being honest. Over.” Came his voice, confliction evident in his tone.

“Do my ears deceive me? Joseph Seed, the _Father_ , is lost for words? Over.” I mocked him playfully.

There was silence for a moment and then a whisper rang over the radio, “The Voice has been speaking to me.” Another few second pause before he continued, “It’s been telling me about the future. Over.”

This caught my attention, “And what is the Voice saying about the future? Over.”

“That you will make a wonderful Mother.” He paused, “That you will be Mother to more than just the child you carry. Over.”

Suddenly, I didn’t like the conversation. I didn’t want to be speaking with him. I shouldn’t have answered his call in the first place! I should have gone to sleep and ignored him. But now… with a protective hand on my stomach, I was too curious to turn back, “What do you mean by that? Over.”

Silence sounded for a solid five minutes before Joseph’s haunting words came through, “The Voice told me you are to be the Mother of my flock. That you will care for them in the ways I cannot. Help guide them in their daily lives, help them with their emotional needs. Over.”

It was laughable. He was going on and on about how I was to nurture his people, care for their emotions. I was the one that was killing them! Willingly killing them. I was holding in the laughs, mindful that my ribs weren’t completely healed. After a few minutes of breathing to calm down, I responded, “You’ve got the wrong girl, Joseph. Over.”

“I don’t think I do, Deputy. Please, hear me out. Over.” He pleaded.

For some reason, though I wasn’t sure why, a tear fell from my eye as I sounded off on the radio, “No. Over and Out.” Then, with a flick of my fingers, shut the radio off. Once again in the quiet dark alone, I let the confusing tears run down my face.

~~

_One Week Later_

Finally, at my own home, I was allowed to work on case files while finishing up healing. Winter was rolling in soon and both the Resistance and Project had stopped fighting and focused on surviving the winter. With no way out of Hope County and no way to communicate outside Hope County, it was imperative that we at the very least not fight during the long Montana winter.

But now, after a long day of doing nothing, I found myself lonely in my two-bedroom house. I had nothing and no one to distract me from the fears of the future. And, before I knew it, I was reaching for my radio and flipping to a certain forgotten channel.

The channel wasn’t quiet for long. I heard his voice calling out just like a week ago, “Deputy, can you hear me? Over.” I didn’t answer this time. I just listened. He sounded sad; lonely even. “Deputy, please… if you can hear me, answer. Over.” I still didn’t answer. The sound of despair in his voice hurt me.

Why was he so upset? I had only been at Seed Ranch for a little over 24 hours. What made him so sad that I wasn’t answering? It wasn’t like we were friends. _‘But the way he had accepted me, sheltered me…’_ It’s not like we were family. _‘But he cared for me as if I was his blood…’_ It’s not like he cared… _‘But he does. He wouldn’t have helped me if he didn’t…’_ It’s not like I care… _‘Right?’_

I turned the radio off and curled up on myself on the couch. The confusion getting the better of me, I let out the tears that had built up. And, alone in my little home, I cried myself to sleep.

~~


	2. Identify

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They were coexisting. They were mending bridges. They were making progress. But what happens when Rook is called to the Coroner's office?

_Three Weeks Later_

It took six weeks to completely heal from the broken ribs. Just as I was finally able to return to the Resistance, winter was rolling in. With no means of communicating outside Hope County, and snow already blocking us in the small little bowl the mountains contained us in, everyone knew we needed to coexist. By coexisting, the two factions would survive the long Montana winter.

I was coming up on six months pregnant now. A small bump showing now if my uniform shirt was unbuttoned. I had been concerned that I hadn’t started to show until now. The doctors all reassured me that it wasn’t uncommon for women to not show until late in pregnancy. Especially if they were fairly active in their day-to-day life – which I definitely was.

Both factions had begun storing food for the winter. Those so inclined were canning in mass for everyone in Hope County. Hunting parties filled up freezers with deer, moose, and bear. Medical supplies were counted and divided out to both factions. Something about the way the two sides were working together was mending the bride, so to speak.

I walked myself into the County Jail, ready for a day full of paperwork. Life had begun to return to normal, almost. The sight that met me once I turned the corner to my desk was unexpected. There, sitting at my desk, was Joseph Seed. He smiled when he saw me and stood to greet me. I hadn’t changed into my uniform yet, so he saw the bump.

“Deputy, I…” he had to pry his eyes back up to my own, “I wanted to check on you. Last I saw you were still injured.” He shifted his weight between his feet nervously.

Even though I was uneasy with him being so close, I had oddly missed him. He looked good, like he was taking care of himself. The new-found peace between the factions was no doubt good for everyone. Looking at the man before me all I could remember was the way he brokenly called for me over the radio every night. Did he know that every night I turned the radio to the exact same channel and listen for him to call? I never answered, but I would wait to hear him call.

Joseph produced a hand towards me, holding a single Canola sprig. The beautiful sprig full of yellow blossoms brought a smile to my face. I took it from him with bright eyes as he said, “I can see you are well recovered. Thank you for your time, Deputy.”

~~

_That Night_

My little home, once again, was lonely. Cuddled up in a cocoon of blankets I turned on my radio that was already set to the correct station. I could hear him, his voice calling for me. Just like he had for the past few weeks.

“Deputy, can you hear me? Over.” He sounded like he was reciting a line instead of actually asking the question. “Deputy, can you hear me? Over.”

Finally, after weeks of not answering him, I relented, “I can hear you. Over.”

“Deputy!” Joseph nearly yelled into the radio. “Over.”

I couldn’t help but smile at the Canola sprig that was in a small glass on my coffee table. Something about it made me happy. The determined wildflower that grew late into the autumn reminded me of the stubbornness that I and Joseph had shown during the peak of the conflict.

There was a quiet that descended upon us and finally Joseph spoke over the radio, “I didn’t have anything planned for the event that you actually answered. Over.”

“I have a confession to make. Over.” I chose to start the conversation.

“John usually takes confessions, but I will consider it an honor to listen. Over.” Joseph replied.

I paused, took a breath, and started, “I listen for you to call every night. Over.” I waited for him to reply. I thought he would be mad, but instead I heard laughing.

“You’ve been listening this whole time. Now I feel embarrassed. Over.” Joseph said between laughs.

“Listening for your call makes it feel like its not so lonely here.” I admitted, for reasons I wasn’t entirely sure of, “And things have been quiet lately. Over.” I began absentmindedly rubbing my little bump. And just like that, we started to just talk. It wasn’t important or heavy. We talked about how our days have become mundane. We talked about our favorite drink when its cold. We talked about movies we saw as children. We talked about it all. And the best part, none of it had to do with factions, religion, or the Voice. It was just a conversation between friends. Only… we were enemies. Right?

That night I fell asleep in my cocoon of blankets talking to Joseph about everything and nothing all at the same time.

~~

_The Next Day_

I was put on inventory duty for the day. I roger’d up and with one of the vehicles provided headed off to the grainery to take inventory of the shared supplies there. I could see Project members as well as those from the Resistance when I pulled up. They all were working together, no fussing. More surprisingly, no killing. The grainery was in the Holland Valley, seeing as the majority of the fields were in the valley. The Henbane was overrun by fields of Bliss.

There, instructing his followers to do this or that was John. When I got out of the vehicle the Seed brother saw me and smiled instantly. He rushed over to help me, though stopped short when he saw the unease that washed over my entire being. After all, the most potent memory I had of him was when he was scarring the word ‘Wrath’ into my chest.

“Sorry, I wasn’t thinking.” He muttered his apology.

The followers noted the sudden awkwardness between us. That made me stiffen. John seemed to feel the same. If the people of our factions thought that their leaders were tense with one another the new-found peace could shatter into a million of murderous pieces in the length between heartbeats.

We were far enough away from anyone that they couldn’t hear us if we whispered. So, with a practiced smile I whispered, “Hug me.”

John caught on and mirrored my happy look as he swung his arms wide. He engulfed me with a gentleness I had been convinced he did not possess. My own arms, so small in comparison, wrapped around his torso. The smell of his cologne was comforting. It smelled liked smoked wood. Just enough of an earthy note that it was exactly the smell you would associate with a man.

His shoulders stiffened when he felt my stomach, more specifically the baby bump, press against him. Then he relaxed. I could feel him nuzzle into my hair and sigh a bit. He really was relaxing in my arms. From his place, nestled comfortably in my hair, he whispered, “You like Sweet Peas.” It caused me to giggle. Apparently, he liked the smell of my perfume!

As we parted John went the extra mile and placed a kiss to my temple. He was so sweet, whispering, “My followers didn’t look convinced. Now they do.”

I smirked up at him as we parted, this time the smile I sported was true, and said, “Uh-huh, likely story.” He shot me a wink and then we walked towards the grainery to begin inventory.

~~

_Two Days Later_

God, why did the cravings have to be for something I typically hated? Why, of all the cravings to have, did it have to be peanut butter? It was annoying, how much I wanted something I avoided in my day-to-day culinary experience.

“I swear, it’s like you exist to annoy me lately. Like a little bug.” I muttered, rubbing my belly, as I waddled my way into my kitchen. I had just gotten a new jar and was going to bust that sucker open. “At least you’re _my_ Bug.” I said lovingly as I headed for my couch with the desired – nasty – peanut butter in hand.

Plopping down on the couch I smiled at Faith Seed who was in my living room going over the medical supplies list. She, apparently, had as much trouble sleeping as me. When we both realized that we could get through the checklists faster together at 5 A.M. than when everyone was around interrupting every 5 minutes, we decided to take the opportunity.

“Deputy, may I ask a question?” Faith asked, not looking up from the checklist in her hands. I could hear the uncertainty in her voice as she asked that. Something was weighing heavy on her heart. I hummed in response, letting her know I was all ears. It took her a moment to compose her thoughts together. But the question she asked next was one I had been pondering for a while. “Can this peace last?” She looked up to meet my eyes and I could see tears welling in hers, “I don’t want the fighting to start again. I don’t want to see my brothers fight again.” Her eyes dropped, along with a few tears, as she added, “I don’t want you to fight either.”

What was I supposed to say to that? _‘Of course! Everyone will be just fine with going back to the way it was once the snow melts and the days get hotter! Of course, both sides will forget the harm, murder, that came to their doors. Everything will be fine!’_ I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t lie like that to her. “I want it to last, Faith. But… truth is I don’t know.” My free hand – the one not holding a spoonful of peanut butter – rubbed my bump. “I want my child to be born in a time of peace, not war. I want them to grow up in a time a peace, not war. But I just don’t know if this peace will last.”

I could see the sad look that still held her features. She had hoped to hear that everything would be okay, and the peace would last. But that’s something I couldn’t say… I had no idea if it would last or not.

“Peanut butter, huh? Here I thought you didn’t like it.” She asked next, changing the subject as she returned her attention to the paperwork we had to go through. Her eyes began to sparkle again. The way they did when she was happy.

“I hate peanut butter.” I grumbled as I popped another spoonful in my mouth and nodded. Holding the spoon in with my lips I grabbed a handful of the paperwork and starting sorting.

~~  
 _Later That Day_

I leaned against the side of my car as I watched the unlikely sight. The Project and Resistance were still working together, sure. But this? This was a barbeque and both sides were **relaxing** together. It was so odd to see, but it was encouraging! To know that the bridge had mended enough to allow for such ease between the two groups. It was absolutely encouraging.

“Rook,” Came the concerned voice of the Sheriff. He walked up and joined me but didn’t recline. That got my attention enough to make me stand straight to look at him. His eyes were guarded, careful not to betray the emotions he was feeling, “You need to come with me. They need you at the coroner’s office.”

I blinked, just blinked.

“There’s a body… they need you to identify it.” He said sadly, “It’s protocol, but….”

I was shaky a bit, but finished the sentence for him, “They think it’s Andy.” When the sheriff nodded, I nodded in return. The man ushered me to his vehicle and for that I was thankful. There was no way I would be able to drive with the dump of adrenaline my body had just undergone. I was shaking and the world seemed to be in a funnel. Sounds were muffled and amplified all at once.

I had, in hopeful ignorance, assumed that Andy had just buggered off that night. He hadn’t come looking for me. He hadn’t been home when I was released from the hospital. He had been nowhere in Hope County. We all thought he had just run off… or at least that’s what we kept saying. Deep down we knew, something or someone had gotten him.

The drive was fast, and as the sheriff opened my door for me, I began to protect Bug. Cradling my bump, I knew that what was awaiting me… us… was going to change our lives forever. It would change Bug’s life and they hadn’t even started it yet.

The walk inside the building was slow and fast at the same time. It was like my senses couldn’t decide what was real or fake. Had I gotten into some Bliss and not known it? No, this was just panic. Simple panic.

As if I was watching my body move forward, I found myself led to the coolers where the bodies were stored. Slowly, the Coroner pulled out the slab. The body was on a slab waist high and covered with linen. I vaguely heard a question asked of me. I wasn’t sure what it was, but I nodded affirmatively nonetheless and watched as the linen was slowly pulled down to reveal a horror.

The body was mangled. The face was barely recognizable. The linen was pulled down to the body’s waist. There were bite marks on the body and flesh had been torn from the bone in some places. But nothing was identifiable as Andy. I needed to know the man that had hurt me… could have hurt my child, was gone. I needed to know the threat was gone.

“Is there anything you can see that would identify this body?” Asked the Coroner.

“Pull the linen down to his hips.” I said, knowing if the flesh was intact there, I could see a birthmark that would prove it was Andy. He had a very distinct birthmark. The Coroner did as I said and sure enough, there was the birthmark. The red mark on the skin in a near perfect heart shape. I went numb. “It’s Andy.”

I didn’t wait for anything else. If there was paperwork, I wasn’t staying to do it. I was free of an abusive man. But… it still hurt. The man I had conceived a child with was dead. It hadn’t been all bad, but the bad outweighed the good… right? Why was I so saddened at the news? Why did my heart ache for him? Before I knew it I was outside and breathing erratically.

“Deputy?” Came a smooth voice I would remember anywhere. It was Jacob’s voice. My head snapped up as I heard him step closer. Had he been waiting since we arrived? “They called you to identify.” He stated as fact when he reached me. I leaned against the building for support, a tear falling down my face.

“How did you know?” I asked. Even though I knew the answer. He knew because the bite marks, the mangled state of the body, was because Jacob’s wolves went after him. I had seen their handy work first-hand, I knew.

He smiled sadly and said, “No one has the right to do what he did.” He watched as emotions ran across my eyes. I was so confused. I was sad Andy was gone. I was happy he was gone. It felt like I was mourning the loss but why would I mourn the loss of such a man?

Gingerly, the eldest Seed took me in his arms. I wasn’t sure why until I realized I had started to cry. Soon, I found my hands gripping his shirt tightly as I wailed in the confusing sorrow I found myself in. Strong hands held me as I lost the ability to stand. My knees buckled and, together, Jacob gently set us on the ground so I could continue to cry. He began rubbing my back and smoothing my hair as he just whispered, “It’s okay to mourn him.”

~~


	3. Room for One More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The peace within Hope County was fragile. So fragile that leaders from both factions would do whatever needed to keep the peace. But what happens when it gets out what the Father thinks of the Deputy? What happens when the Deputy is backed into a corner?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all!
> 
> Hopefully this story is going well for you all! It's so nice to see the Kudos already. Please consider leaving a Kudo if you enjoyed (and haven't already) and please drop a comment! They encourage me to keep the story going! 
> 
> Love,  
> Luna

_Beginning of October  
Deputy is now 6 months/22 Weeks Pregnant_

“You’re doing well, Deputy.” Came the encouraging words of the physician. They pointed out Bug’s feet and little hands. Then they told me the gender, which was something that had been impossible to do in previous visits due to Bug moving too much. My sweet little Bug. “If you look right here, you’ll see….”

The radio sounded at the moment I saw it, my little Bug’s gender. I was overjoyed, but I needed to answer. I was still a Junior Deputy. “Rook, over.” The physician smiled and began wiping the ultrasound gel off my stomach while I listened to the caller.

“There’s a situation. We tried to settle it without you.” It was Pratt and he sounded worried. “Some Peggies and Resistance fighters are going at it. Right now, it’s just yelling, but… Sheriff says that it would do both sides good if you were here. Over.” There was more he wasn’t saying, but I decided that it wasn’t worth probing over the radio channels.

“Okay. Where are they? Over.” I replied while my focus was on the little pictures that I had just been given. They were ultrasound pictures. My heart swelled at the sight of Bug, just chilling. I told Pratt I would be on the way, considering the issue was happening close to the doctor’s office and I could get to the little outpost easy. I nodded to the physician and off I went. Duty called.

~~

By the time I rolled up to the little outpost the situation had worsened. I could tell because I could hear the yelling before I even opened my car door. _‘Great….’_ I thought as I headed inside the little building. It was the old park ranger station and inside was quite the sight. There were Resistance fighters that were yelling accusations and the Project members were defending their leader.

“If he didn’t do it, then why don’t you let us ask him?” Came a Resistance fighter’s words.

“The Father’s brother does not answer to you!” A Project member threw back.

“The boy was ripped apart by wolves! Jacob’s wolves!” Another Resistance fighter shouted.

My off hand cradled my stomach as Bug began to fuss. They were arguing about Andy’s death. To be honest, I was sad still about it. Even though he had been awful, that night not even being the worst of what he put me through, I never wanted him to die like that.

I took in the rest of the room. I could see Pratt and Hudson trying to calm the room while Jacob and Joseph were standing to the far west wall. Jacob seemed impartial while Joseph seemed to be truly worried. The room was spiraling, quickly, out of control. If the peace we had somehow built was to be maintained this had to be squashed, and fast.

Clearing my throat, I got the attention of the entire room. Angry eyes from both sides looked at me as I said, “The night I ran from Andy and I’s house, he chased after me. I ran into Joseph and his siblings. They hid me away and sent Andy off in a random direction. Then, once their physician was sure I was going to be fine, Jacob set out to find Andy.” Pratt, Hudson, Jacob, and Joseph knew that the next few moments would be paramount in earning trust from both factions. Pratt and Hudson made no move to stop Jacob as he grabbed a stool and walked up to me, offering the seat.

With his help I situated as comfortably as possible and continued, “He found Andy. He took a nasty tumble down the mountain. The mountains here are riddled with wolves, everyone knows that. There was a pack of wolves, wild wolves, that had taken the opportunity presented.” The memory of Jacob walking me through what he had found flooded back. There had been no way that he could have gotten to Andy in time. By the time he managed to spook off the pack, Andy had passed. I relayed the information and when finished, the looks from both sides was unsure.

A Project member ventured bravely, “Brother Jacob, why were you tracking the man?”

Joseph answered for his brother. It was a simple answer, “We know what abuse does. Jacob wanted to bring the man to justice, face the law. He wanted to make sure that the Deputy was safe.” I watched as Joseph walked to his followers and place a hand on their shoulders, “We are one family now. Though trust is difficult, we must strive for it every day.”

The looks on the Resistance fighters’ faces was not accepting of the words Joseph had said. I could see the conflict brewing again. So, I jumped to my feet and entered the fray, “He’s right. With winter on our heels we need to work together. We need to trust one another. It’s not easy, but it can be done.”

Everyone nodded and my fellow Deputies ushered everyone out. One of the Project members lingered and spoke to me. It was shocking, seeing how hopeful they were when they asked to speak with me. I nodded and saw their eyes light up with happiness. They even smiled. “Thank you for what you’ve done for us.” He said before dipping his head and leaving with his friends.

I was alone with the two Seed brothers. And, though I knew the answer, I couldn’t help but ask, “Jacob, did he really pass by the time you got to him?”

Jacob placed an arm around my shoulders as he answered my question with a question, “Do you really want that answer, Pup?”

~~

_The Next Day_

“Deputy, can you hear me? Over.” Came Josephs voice from my radio. But this time it wasn’t late at night. It was the middle of the day and I was at my desk working on the many case files that had piled up during the conflict. I had forgotten to switch the channel from the night before.

Standing with a bit of effort, I grabbed my radio and walked to the armory. There, with the privacy the room offered, I replied, “I can hear you. Over.”

There was silence for a few minutes before Joseph’s voice spoke again, “You need to know that there are some in my congregation that may have heard me speaking with my family about you. Over.”

Immediately catching on, I nearly hissed into the radio, “Joseph, don’t tell me they heard you refer to me as ‘The Mother’! Damnit Joseph!” I caught my breath and then muttered, “Over.”

“I am so sorry. I never meant for this to happen. We were speaking as a family. My brothers and sister were only trying to understand the message from the Voice. Some members heard and it spread through my flock in no time.” He paused and for a moment I thought he just left without signing off. But instead I heard his voice break over the line, “Deputy, they are going to seek you out now. They feel that you are already their Mother. When they need help, they will seek you for comfort. Over.”

I sat on the chair and leaned my head back, staring at the ceiling, “There’s no way to change their mind, is there? Over.”

His answer was simple, one word, “No. Over.”

Rage filled me. How could he have been so careless? He knew I had said no to it. He knew I felt he was wrong! Damnit! I wanted to scream at him. I wanted to throw something at him. I wanted to be left alone, but now… now to keep the damn peace I was going to have to put up with this shit… I heard Joseph call for me, ask if I was still there. He begged me to talk to him. I simply said, “Over and out.”

~~

_The Next Week  
Deputy is 23 Weeks Pregnant_

Why did I miss them? Why did I miss sitting with them and going over lists of resources for winter? Why did I miss chatting with John or Jacob or Faith? Why did I miss the late-night radio chats with Joseph? Since he had warned me about his flock I hadn’t tune in to that channel. I hadn’t spoken to him in a week. I was still furious.

It hadn’t taken long for members of his flock to seek me out when needed. In no time they were just addressing me as ‘Mother’ in passing. Children from the Project made me flower crowns all the time and the young men that were coming of age sought my approval of girlfriends, as if I was their actual mother. It was overwhelming and I wanted it to stop. But it was helping keep the peace.

To his credit, Joseph managed to get his flock to reign in their enthusiasm. He explained in a sermon that I had not grown fully into the role. That there was more to do before anyone could become their Mother. Now, a week later, it was just a passing greeting or a child bringing me flowers for my hair. It was still more attention than I wanted, though.

But, despite all that, I missed them. I missed them so much more when I was sitting in my living room – much like I was currently doing – and had nothing to distract me from how lonely I was. I found myself lonely in my two-bedroom house. I had nothing and no one to distract me from the fears of the future. And, before I knew it, I was in my car again and headed for Seed Ranch.

~~

_Seed Ranch, Same Night_

“Deputy?” Came John’s shocked and concerned voice. I looked up at him, realizing I hadn’t heard the door open. When he saw my conflicted face, he stepped aside and ushered me in. “Is everything okay?”

I nodded, hugging the bump that was not completely visible to the rest of the world, “Yeah, everything’s fine. I was just…” I realized that I had interrupted a family get together. John had walked with me to the living room and that’s where I was met with the surprised faces of Joseph and Jacob. “I didn’t realize…” I turned to John with an apologetic face and said, “I should go. I didn’t mean to intrude.”

Jacob was the one to speak now, “No need. There’s room for one more.” He patted the seat next to him, clearly offering the comfort of cuddling up next to the giant. Though the logical part of my brain said to just take a seat away from any of them, I took the offer. Leaning into the hold of the former soldier, I propped my swollen ankles up on the ottoman and sighed as I rubbed my bump. It was nice to recline into the warmth of another person. I hadn’t relaxed with another human for weeks now…

Jacob chuckled next to me as he leaned his head atop mine for a moment, “Tough day?”

I nodded and settled further into the comforting hold, “Everything’s quiet, which means I was on desk duty. Too pregnant to carry out patrols apparently.” I finished with a bit of bitterness in my voice. IT caused all the men in the room to chuckle.

Joseph smiled at me, then looked to the bump I was rubbing, and said, “You have a far more important job than patrols right now.”

“Oh, I’m aware. Little Bug is giving me cravings for the weirdest stuff. I was expecting pickles or something. But no, Bug wants peanut butter. Only peanut butter.” I heaved a sigh as I realized another craving hit me like a bulldozer. I wanted an entire jar of the stuff now…

“What’s weird about that?” Came Jacob’s question. Sure, that was fair. Peanut butter wasn’t an odd food.

I heaved another sigh and said, “I don’t like peanut butter.”

The three men laughed as Joseph said he would go find me some. When he returned, he handed me the jar and a spoon. The look on his face was understanding, not judgmental. That’s when I remembered, his wife had been pregnant. He’s dealt with the cravings before. In that moment he couldn’t have looked more like a Kalvin Klein model to me. The man was a vision! As I popped a huge scoop in my mouth a hum escaped me as I snuggled further into Jacob’s side. As if on cue, Bug began kicking. For joy at the peanut butter apparently.

“Deputy, could I… maybe….” John began, though his confidence faded as I gave him a quizzical look. I could tell whatever he wanted to ask was really pulling at him. It clicked though, as he began wringing his hands. He wanted to touch the bump. That’s when I realized, the entire time I had stayed at the Ranch, John had kept his distance. He never touched me other than helping me stand up or sit down. He had not once touched the bump.

Why was I so quick to be at ease with these men? They were quite possibly clinically insane. But, when there wasn’t fighting, they were kind, caring, and protective. They were everything you could hope for. But… there were so many red flags for each of them that I shouldn’t have even sought them out in the first place! But, despite it all, I nodded and moved the jar of peanut butter to rest at the very top of the bump, “Go for it.” In no time John was kneeling next to me and timidly placing his hands on my bump. He looked so happy when the baby kicked against his left hand. His eyes sparkled as he felt the baby’s foot press and hold against where his hand was.

“Amazing…” he mumbled as he continued to feel Bug push against his hands. The only problem was that Bug was also pushing into my ribs a bit. Not painfully, but I was aware of it, nonetheless. So, I resituated a bit to get more comfortable, something that sent John into a tizzy. “Deputy, are you okay? Did I press too hard?”

“Bug’s pushing against a rib, that’s all.” I waved his worry away, “I’m starting to get into that uncomfortable-no-matter-what stage of pregnancy.” I popped another spoonful of peanut butter in my mouth and sighed.

From my side, Jacob chuckled, “Why are you referring to your baby as ‘Bug’?”

Shrugging my shoulders as I scooped more peanut butter, I answered him, “Said it one day, and it just kinda stuck.”

John was so enthralled that I hadn’t noticed Joseph seemed on edge. Jacob was the one to point it out and once he did, I couldn’t stop the concern on my face. Why was he upset? Was he reminded of his wife and daughter? Was he thinking of what he could have had if things had just been normal for him? There were so many questions running around my head.

John stood up, almost begrudgingly, and asked Joseph, “Jealous I got to touch the baby bump?”

Joseph smiled a bit and nodded, “Yes, actually. It’s been a long time since I was lucky enough to feel life grow like that.”

As if to rub it in, John and Jacob both put a hand on my bump. Joseph rolled his eyes as I swatted away the hands, “Now boys!” I chided them as I stood up. John helped, seeing as I was beginning to resemble a seal, too fat to really move without flopping.

Joseph returned his gaze to me as I walked over to him. I was uneasy around him still but knew he wouldn’t do anything to my baby. He was the most attentive of all when I had gone to them for help. I stopped right in front of him, took his hands, and placed them on my belly. He was mesmerized in a way only a father could be. He remembered this from when his wife had been pregnant. I watched as Joseph’s eyes misted with tears he was holding back.

Bug pushed at that moment and the look on Joseph’s face was awestruck. He looked up at me and then back at my bump. He was truly overjoyed at the feeling. My hands rested on the backsides of my hips, leaning my belly more towards Joseph, in an attempt to be more comfortable.

“Deputy, thank you.” Joseph whispered as he cradled my belly, supporting the growing weight. I nodded to him before he continued, “It’s a miracle, the life inside you.” When he removed his hands, more for my peace of mind I think, I turned to sit back against Jacob. The eldest Seed chuckled as he let me snuggle up to his side again.

Jacob’s arm draped over my shoulder and his hand brushed my belly, his arm resting between my breasts. There was something about him that was comforting, and I had gravitated towards him during my short time healing at the Ranch. And now, it was the same. He was comforting and Bug only pushed once before settling down.

Jacob chuckled again and said, “So, how have things been going?”

“Stupid.” I mumbled as I reclaimed my peanut butter. “Andy’s family wants to be in Bug’s life. Said that if I refuse, they’ll take Bug away from me.”

All three Seed brothers stiffened, and John asked, “The parents of the man that broke your ribs want to sue for custody of your child?” I could hear the lawyer coming through.

I nodded, “They’re just afraid I won’t let them be a part of my child’s life… I think….”

Jacob’s hand spread out over my bump protectively as John began ranting about how they had no right and the case would be dropped if he had anything to say about it. Joseph attempted to calm John, though he wasn’t stopping him from making calls to some of his lawyer friends. Jacob’s other hand came and began rubbing my arm. The way they were all reacting, the way I had just shown up to the Ranch, the absurdity of it finally hit and I asked, “What the hell is going on?”

John continued his call, having already begun a conversation with whomever he called. Jacob waited to speak and so Joseph took point. He sighed and said, “We have been talking for a while now, about the future and how we all fit into it. How you fit into it.” He paused and chanced a look at me, “I’ve been listening to the Voice, but I didn’t know what it meant until the day you came to us.”

I sat up and Jacob got the hint to remove his arms from me, “What are you saying?” The man before me was no longer Joseph Seed, he was the Father.

Joseph inhaled slowly and said, “The Voice mentioned that a Mother would be delivered to us. Someone to nurture in a way I never could.” His eyes locked on mine as he finished, “You’re who the Voice was talking about. You’re the Mother.”

I shook my head and repeated my answer all those nights ago, “You’ve got the wrong girl, Joseph.”

He shook his head and repeated himself, “You are the Mother, Deputy.”

The world slowed down and I could hear my heartbeat in my ears. The room began to spin, and I wanted to hurl all the peanut butter I had eaten. As everything came back to the present in the right tempo, I answered Joseph, “No.” And instantly I headed for the door. I needed to leave, to escape!

I saw John and Jacob look sad at my leaving, but they made no move to stop me. It wasn’t until I had the knob of the door in my grasp. Joseph called out and I felt a pair of hands grab me, “DEPUTY PLEASE!” I couldn’t help my reaction, I screamed and attempted to protect my stomach as much as I could with Joseph’s hands holding my arms tightly. He pushed me against the door gently, yet firmly, and continued, “Deputy please don’t leave.” He had tears streaming down his face. I could tell he really felt that the Voice really told him I was the Mother to his flock…

John and Jacob were behind Joseph, both with highly concerned faces. Jacob was assessing the possibility of getting Joseph away from me but knew that any attempt to remove him could hurt the baby. It was up to me to talk Joseph down.

I locked eyes with Joseph, the desperate man before me, and asked, “What exactly did the Voice say?”

Joseph smiled a hopeful smile as he said, “It said that we would be delivered a Mother, someone that will nurture my flock to care for them in every way I cannot. Not a mother, _the_ Mother.” His hold did not falter, he just waited for me to reply.

I nodded my head and asked, “So, how do you know that the Mother is supposed to be me?” I reached up and placed my hands on his arms.

He smiled even more hopefully and answered, “When I felt your stomach, the trust you placed in me to allow me to, I knew. The Voice spoke. _You_ are the Mother.” He gently, slowly, removed his hold on my arms, though he made no move to step back from me. Instead, he knelt down and gingerly placed his hands over mine that were protecting my stomach. He smiled, as if he couldn’t tell I was terrified, and added, “This life will be loved by everyone. And you will be too.” He looked up at me with hope-filled eyes. Mine held terror.

“Joe,” Came Jacob’s voice steadily, “that’s enough for one day. Let the Deputy take it in, think on it for a while.” He was speaking to his brother like he would a mentally fragile person, on the brink of a complete meltdown. His gaze flicked between Joseph and myself, concern for me and my baby evident on his face.

John nodded and said, “Yeah, give her time to process.” He stepped in time with Jacob, the two flanking their brother. Joseph could tell what they were doing and so he stood up, hands still on my stomach. It’s like a switch flipped and suddenly the look in his eyes let me know that Joseph was standing before me now, not the Father. He looked sad, as if he was convinced that I would run far away from them, Hope County, as possible.

He dropped his hands from my body and stepped back, allowing Jacob to stand between him and me as John opened the door for me and walked me out. My head continued to spin and the fear I had quelled in that moment rose with a fury I couldn’t stifle. I rushed to my car and, with a hand on the back of the car, I gripped my hair and leaned forward. The contents of my stomach can back out. John, rushing not far behind me, held my hair for me and rubbed my back. It wasn’t a quick purging… no, I wasn’t that lucky. But John was supportive as he continued to tell me things would be alright.

~~


	4. Measure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A blizzard blows into Hope County and locks an unlikely pair in for the night. Come morning, the stakes are raised.

_January  
Deputy is 9 Months/39 Weeks and Six Days Pregnant_

I was miserable. Nothing was comfortable and I had to be driven to appointments. The winter had been harsh so far. Record cold and record snowfall. Sharky and Hurk Jr would shovel my drive every day to make sure that when the Bug was ready, I could get to the hospital. And in that time, I had secluded myself away from the Seed family. After what Joseph had done, the way he snapped like that…

_‘He was afraid. He didn’t hurt me.’_ I tried to reason. _‘You were going to leave after he poured his heart out. He didn’t hurt you and he was sorry for what he did.’_ That was true. He had sent white daisies and apology cards every day since. He called out on the radio at night. But instead of calling for me to respond, he simply repeated himself until his voice went hoarse, “I’m sorry.” He chanted it over and over. But, was I really willing to let him close again? I just didn’t know.

Lately, Hope County was slowly returning to normal. The Resistance and the Project were integrating better than ever. Not long after that day at the Ranch where Joseph declared me the Mother, the entirety of Hope County seemed to bury the hatchet – so to speak. And I was thankful for that. It meant that life continued as normal as could be – all things considered.

So, as I opened my door to head for one of the last doctor’s appointments I had before the baby was due, I was met with quite the sight on my front porch – flowers. So many flowers. They were white daisies, dozens, if not hundreds. I took the note that was clearly placed on one of the bouquets and read it. It was from Joseph.

_Deputy,_

_I realize I was too zealous last we spoke. I never meant to make you uncomfortable. An apology seems subpar in what you are owed. Your fellow Deputy Hudson let me know of your fondness for daisies, so I hope this is a start. A start for showing you how sorry I am for terrifying you._

_If you find it in your heart, please allow me to speak with you again, to fully explain what I mean._

_Sincerely,_

_Joseph Seed_

~~

The air was cold, a winter storm was on our heels and the weatherman was predicting a blizzard. It was advised that everyone get their provisions in order and soon. So, I called Joseph and said if he wanted to speak, he would have to help me with shopping. I wasn’t prepared to speak with him in private, no, I wanted others around. Especially after how fanatically he had acted…

And so, we were there, shopping as if it we were just a normal couple. Joseph insisting that I didn’t lift a finger to help as I waddled alongside him. He was quite remis that I refused the motorized shopping cart. I wasn’t handicapped, just pregnant. **Heavily** pregnant, but I wouldn’t listen to the logic he had when he said I shouldn’t over-do it so late in the game.

He explained while we ticked items off the list I had made. The Voice had told him he would be tested by someone. I came along with the Sheriff and Marshal to arrest him not long after that. Then the Voice said that John would be able to be redeemed if he saved me. Then the Voice started to change the narrative. Or, in Joseph’s words, reveal more of the narrative. The Voice began telling him how his flock, the Project, lacked a Mother. It would mention that a Mother would be delivered in the unlikeliest of ways. That the Mother would be the unlikeliest of people.

“It may seem odd, but I know when I’ve reached an understanding when the Voice is quiet. There is this calm that descends, and I know that I’ve finally understood the message. When you let me feel the baby kick, that calmness descended.” Joseph ended with. He timidly looked to me, knowing that he had unloaded quite the story to me. That much information would require processing and time to do it. After paying and heading to my car I noted that the clouds looked like a storm was rolling in.

“Suppose I believe this, what does it mean? I’m a mother, yes. But what does it mean to be _The_ Mother?” I questioned as we loaded up the groceries as quickly as possible. Joseph, again, refusing to let me help.

“It means that you would nurture the flock. Care for their emotional needs. I lead them spiritually, but they lack a guide when it comes to their everyday lives.” Joseph admitted. He paused for a moment and added, “I’m seeing trends that worry me.”

I nodded. With being on desk duty I saw all the case files. There were quite a few domestic calls as of late within the flock. Husbands harming wives. Wives harming husbands. Children being harmed. I heavily suspected that the Project’s Bliss had something to do with it but wasn’t sure.

Joseph returned the cart to the store and then helped me inside the vehicle, on the passenger side. He seemed to be hiding worry as he said, “The storm is rolling in faster than anticipated. I’m going to get you home safely.”

I was concerned now, “How will you get home? You can’t walk in a blizzard, Joseph. My home is on the opposite side of Hope County!” He just gave me a smile and started to drive.

~~

We continued our back and forth, though I was still no closer to accepting such a role. But, I was understanding the man that was Joseph Seed. He wanted to help his flock and I could see how upset it made him that he couldn’t seem to lead them in the right path in every facet of their lives. The more he spoke, the more it made sense, the need for a Mother.

He parked in my drive, having backed in so he could get the groceries inside easier, and said, “I’ll call Jacob to come get me. You won’t have to be stuck with me. Though with the storm…” He looked at me, clearly assessing how far along I was. “I don’t like the idea of you being alone in a blizzard.”

I nodded, “I don’t particularly care for it. But I’ve got my phone and radio. Pratt doesn’t live far from here. And, I’m not due for two more weeks.” I reassured myself as much as I reassured him… which wasn’t very much if I was to be honest.

Joseph nodded, though, and got to work. I went to put on a pot of coffee to warm him back up after he finished. He would still have to wait for Jacob to get him. And as soon as the coffee pot began brewing and Joseph closed the trunk of my car, the sky decided to dump on us. Snow fell from the low hanging clouds and in a matter of seconds the visibility was gone. I saw the look of shock on Joseph’s face, and the sheen of sweat on his brow. He had rushed to make sure he wouldn’t be stranded.

Instantly, I called for him to get inside and ring Jacob that he would stay here until the storm passed. _‘You can do this, just one night. When the storm passes and the visibility is back, Jacob can come on a snowmobile and get him.’_

Joseph nodded and entered my home, thanking me for the kindness, and we both settled in for what was no doubt going to be an awkward night. But, surprisingly, we fell right back into an easiness that I thought had been lost when he raced after me that day. He made sure I was comfortable and when the chill from outside started to make me shiver he started up a fire. Watching him place kindling and then the logs in the fireplace before setting it alight was calming. It was like he had done it a million times.

As he settled back into the couch after having stoked the flames enough to warm us both, he said, “I’m sorry for not going faster earlier. As soon as I can, I’ll leave.”

From my reclined spot I said, “Don’t be. The company’s nice.” I chanced a look at him. His eyes were hopeful. I rubbed my bump a little, Bug had pushed into my rib again, and sighed, “I don’t hate you, Joseph. You scared me that day. It was like something snapped. You weren’t Joseph anymore. I saw it in your eyes, you were the Father in that moment.”

He nodded and looked at the flames, “I was so focused that I forgot to take in my surroundings. It was like nothing mattered other than you understanding.” He rubbed his face and continued, “But the look in your eyes, the way you covered your stomach… How could I have don’t that to you?”

I looked out the window, seeing snow already up to the bottom of the sill, and said, “You believe so fervently. Wish I had that kind of trust.” The truth was, I wasn’t sure if what Joseph heard was the voice of God or not. I was pretty sure that he was, best case scenario, misunderstanding God’s message. Worst case, he was schizophrenic, and I was in danger. He had killed his daughter because the Voice told him to.

“I wouldn’t go that far.” He admitted. “I falter just the same as my flock. I doubt.” He looked to me, his eyes betraying just how tired he was, “My flock believes me to be perfect. But I sin just the same.”

In that moment, I realized that the Father and I had a lot in common. We were both believers – of the same God, well, whose to say? We were both sinners. We both cared for and protected our factions: his flock and my Resistance. We were two sides of the same coin. In that moment, I had never felt more terrified nor more at peace.

~~

_The Next Morning_  
40 Weeks Pregnant  
Most First-Time Mothers go into Labor at 41 Weeks

The morning came and with it the sun illuminated a winter wonderland. The only drawback was that the winter wonderland had covered everything. Snow hid where the road was. Snow hid most mailboxes. Snow had turned the terrain of Hope County into something more akin to the rolling hills of the fly-over states.

That meant that there was no way that Joseph could drive on out. A snowmobile would be required and that would take some coordination from either Jacob or someone from the Resistance. Visibility was wide open, but it would also require someone helping to dig us out. We couldn’t get out of the house due to the snow having piled up against the door.

I had woken up early, discomfort in my hips not letting me sleep in. The ache went away quickly once I started to move. But they came back not long after that. I tried to ignore it, after all I wasn’t due for another week. So, I went to the living room and found that Joseph was awake as well. He smiled at me before helping me sit down on the couch.

Wincing at a dull pain in my lower back, I settled in for a bit. Joseph questioned it but I just explained it away as Bug pushing into something. He didn’t seem convinced but let it slide, keeping a concerned eye on me while he radioed for Jacob.

After a couple hours of planning with Jacob, Joseph settled down and told me that Jacob would pick him up later that day after checking on his flock. There were Project members out in the more remote areas of Hope County, and they hadn’t heard from them yet.

I nodded at the information and just as Joseph asked if I wanted something to eat, I inhaled sharply. My eyes widened in shock as I managed to say very calmly, “I need you to call the doctor.” I moved I had wrapped up in aside and revealed that my water had broken.

“The pains, they were contractions…” Joseph stated.

I nodded, “I thought it was a false alarm.” _‘Stupid… how could I have explained that away?’_ Forcing myself to think logically I noted that we had the supplies at the ready for a home birth, though I didn’t want that. “Radio Jacob back, tell him he needs to…” A contraction hit and this time there was no mistaking it for anything but labor. I yelled in pain and Joseph jumped to. He offered me his hand and I took it willingly. I could feel the bones creak under the pressure I crushed them with.

“Deputy, you need to check how dilated you are.” He said, already pulling the radio back up to his mouth. He relayed that a doctor needed to get to the house and fast. He stuttered for a second when he realized that I had stood up and began stripping my soiled pants and underwear in the living room. Once Jacob radioed that they would get there as fast as possible, Joseph asked, “What are you going?”

“I’m in labor, Joseph. I don’t care if you see my vagina.” I grumbled as I waddled to the sink to wash my hands. He nodded, shook his head, and seemed to get it together. He helped steady me as I squatted, getting into a better position to attempt to measure how dilated I was. “Damnit….”

“What is it Deputy?” Joseph asked, now very worried.

_‘Of all things… damn it!’_ I inhaled slowly and said, “Leah.” He looked confused until I explained, “We should be on first name basis now.” I paused through a contraction. “I can’t reach my cervix. You’re going to have to measure.”

Joseph nodded, helped me sit up against the cabinets, and washed his hands. I pulled my legs apart and towards my chest, crimson blush on my face, and nodded for him to measure. He was knelt between my legs, one hand on my right thigh, his left hand moving to measure. I couldn’t look at him. I couldn’t look at anything. I just closed my eyes and hoped it would be over soon. We just needed an idea of how long we could wait. But… when I felt Joseph’s finger at my cervix and realized… oh God…

My eyes were open now, locked with his. He was calm as he said, “Leah, we don’t have time to wait on the doctor.”

~~


	5. Time to Push

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was time to push.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all!
> 
> So, I'm gonna shamelessly beg here. Comments really let me know you like the story and I really love reading them! Communicating with you guys and even if the conversations are short I thrive off it. Kudos and comments encourage me to continue writing! 
> 
> Okay, I'm gonna stop begging now!
> 
> Love,  
> Luna

_40 Weeks Pregnant_  
10 cm Dilated  
Time to Push

“Leah, you need to push.” Joseph said as he gathered the needed items. The doctor was helping by telling us via radio what is needed for a safe home birth.

“This is not how this was supposed to go.” I said, terrified as I settled into my bed. I was supposed to be in a hospital, epidural at the ready. There was supposed to be an entire team of people that knew what they were doing. It wasn’t supposed to be at my home with Joseph fucking Seed getting ready to help deliver my baby… I wasn’t supposed to give birth by myself.

Joseph looked to me and wish sad eyes said, “Leah, I know this isn’t what you imagined. But I promise I will do everything to help you deliver this baby safely.” He positioned my legs back and said, “Now push 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. Breath.” He coached me through each contraction with an ease that told me he had practiced. He had been ready to help his wife through labor. But instead of his wife, he was helping me through labor… the woman that arrested him, that had been ready to kill him.

Another contraction hit and I knew that something wasn’t right. Joseph seemed concerned as well and said, “I don’t think the baby dropped enough.” I was tired, it had only been about an hour of actually pushing but I was so tired. Sweat matted my hair to my face and I was sure I looked as haggard as I felt. I watched as Joseph grabbed the radio and spoke with the doctor. Whatever they said, I didn’t listen to. I was so tired, I just wanted to sleep.

“Leah, I need you to stand up.” Joseph said, pulling me to sit on the edge of the bed. He steadied me as I stood weakly.

“What are we doing?” I asked confused.

“We need the baby to drop. We had to get the baby to drop.” He said, repeating himself. We had no way to help move the labor along other than gravity. So, I had to stand.

“Joseph, I can’t give birth standing up…” I grumbled as I felt a contraction start again. Joseph, once again, was supportive counting out for me. Once it passed, I rested against his chest.

He moved my hair from my face and said, “Women have given birth while standing for centuries. You can do this, Leah.” We were quiet for a bit as I nodded against his chest. It wasn’t like I had much of a choice.

~~

_Six Hours Later_

“Joseph, if it comes to it… I want you to save my baby.” I said, worried that we couldn’t get anywhere with pushing. We had no equipment to check on the baby. I had no idea if they were wrapping in the cord or if they were fine. We didn’t know and it terrified me.

Joseph stiffened as he helped me sit down between contractions, “Don’t talk like that Leah.”

“Promise me you’ll save my baby, Joseph. Even if that means I die.” I said, a fierce protectiveness surfacing I wasn’t aware I had. But I meant it, every word. I wanted my child to live even if that meant giving my life.

~~

_Three Hours Later_

“Leah is a biblical name.” Joseph stated out of the blue. He successfully distracted me from the pain I was in.

I nodded, “Yeah, my parents were pretty religious. My sister’s name is Rachel.” I said, completely aware that he would catch on to the meaning there. Leah, being the biblical woman that was overlooked due to “weak eyes” in favor of her sister Rachel.

He smiled sadly at me, “Leah, the unloved one.” It was true, Leah from the bible was blessed with a fertile womb. The reason was supposedly that God saw she was unloved, so her womb was opened to fill that empty spot in her heart.

“When the Lord saw that Leah was not loved, he enabled her to conceive,” I said, chuckling at the irony. My family favored my sister, Rachel. They said nothing when I left home for Montana. I had left and not looked back.

Joseph nodded, and as the contraction hit, he held me upright as I began to push. I placed my hands on his shoulders for balance. He continued to quote the verses, “Leah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Reuben, for she said, ‘It is because the Lord has seen my misery’.” When the contraction ended, he still spoke, “She conceived again and when she gave birth to a son she said, ‘Because the Lord heard that I am not loved, he gave me this son too.’ So, she named him Simeon.”

I smirked and said, “Again she conceived, and when she gave birth to a son she said, ‘Now at last my husband will become attached to me, because I have borne him three sons.’ So, he was named Levi.”

Joseph, as another contraction began, spoke again, “She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, ‘This time I will praise the Lord.’ So, she named him Judah.” And just like that, my baby was born. Joseph went to work, just as he had been instructed by the doctor. Clear the throat and nose, make sure they’re breathing. Assess that there are no immediate issues.

Everything, for that moment, was fine. Joseph smiled and handed me my tiny little Bug. There, in my arms, was a precious little girl. With the help of Joseph, I settled into the armchair in the room. He radioed the information. I wasn’t paying attention. My little Bug was in my arms.

“I’m going to cut the cord, if that is okay with you.” Joseph said, timid at the task. I smiled at him and said, “Go ahead. I couldn’t think of anyone better than you to cut it.”

He smirked and said, “I’m the only other person here.”

I giggled and returned my gaze to Bug, “I’d still pick you to cut it.” Bug was happily cooing, such a quiet baby.

“What will you name her?” Joseph asked as he helped to clean her while she rested on my bare chest. He was so gentle, not just with Bug but me as well. His eyes were soft as he looked in the cooing infant. It must have been reminiscent of when he and his wife were together, how they must have imagined the day of their own daughter’s birth.

I couldn’t help myself, I answered with scripture, “Sometime later she gave birth to a daughter and named her Dinah.” The look on his face when our eyes connected was so bright. Tears pricked at his eyes and he took his glasses off to wipe them dry.

“She is beautiful. You did so well, Leah.” He said, a hand gently placed on Dinah’s pudgy face.

“Thank you, Joseph. This could have gone wrong so quickly. Thank you.” I said, tears pricking my own eyes. So much had happened since I found out that I was going to have a child. From Hope County breaking out into a war, to an armistice, to trust being rebuilt; so many things had changed.

The man that had just helped me through labor, of all things, looked to me with such happiness. He pulled a blanket for me, covering me as he ensured I had enough pillows propping me up. Together we fussed over Bug and making sure she was stable. She fed with little issue within the first hour. The doctor was happy with everything we relayed and soon enough news spread through Hope County via radio that there was a new life.

~~

_Six Hours After Birth_

There was a knock on the door followed by, “Joseph? Deputy? It’s Jacob, we’re gonna clear the snow so the doc can get in!”

Joseph said to me, “I’m going to go help them. I will be right back.”

I nodded, happy to be left with my Bug. She was so pretty and perfect and all mine. She was mine. I covered my chest as much as possible, considering she was on my chest for warmth I didn’t cover much. A light blanket was draped over her and me for the sake of Joseph, Jacob, and whomever else was with them.

“Deputy?” Came Jacob’s voice as he turned the corner and entered the room. He saw a beautiful little baby in my arms, my hair mess, and the smile on my face as I looked down at Bug. The soldier smiled at the sight and walked up to us, knelt, and said, “So this is Bug.”

“Yes, this is Bug.” I whispered, in awe that I was holding my baby. Repositioning her so Jacob could see her better, I said, “Jacob, meet Dinah.”

The former soldier smiled, his heart clearly having melt when he reached forward, and Dinah gripped his little finger with all her might. His eyes moved from her to me and back to her in a split second. He was so happy. “Well, look at that, she’s got quite the grip.” He placed his free hand on my shoulder and said, “You did good, Pup.”

The doctor assessed me, then Dinah, and when he gave his stamp of approval Joseph and Jacob started to help me up. The clinic was the healthiest place for Dinah at that time. The two men were happy to go as slow as I needed and when Dinah fussed at the cold, I held her closer to my chest.

Jacob, on instinct, pulled his jacket off and tucked me inside it. Joseph settled me in on Jacob’s snowmobile before taking the helm of the other one. Jacob’s arms held me in place, and he smiled down at me when I looked up at him.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got you.” He said to me with a wink. “Lean back and enjoy the ride.”

I giggled and said, “So, just relax?” I looked down and moved the jacket to block the wind from Bug’s face.

Jacob chuckled, his chest rumbled as a result, and said, “You’ve earned it, Pup.”

~~


	6. Make it Right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a traumatic birth, life returns to normal. But what happens with guilt rears its ugly head?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all!
> 
> I'm so happy that this story is doing so well! Thank you everyone for supporting my reluctance to leave this fandom alone!
> 
> Love,  
> Luna

_Clinic the Next Day_

Reclined in the bed that was in the small room in the clinic, I smiled at the bundle of joy in the basinet beside me. Bug was sleeping soundly, and all was quiet for now. Joseph and Jacob were both snoring softly on the couch in the room, neither had been willing to leave me alone after such a “traumatic” birth. I didn’t blame them. It had been traumatic. Afterall, Joseph Seed delivered my baby! But, something about it felt like everything that happened played out exactly like it was supposed to.

A knock sounded, pulling my attention from Bug. I looked up and was met with the sight of John looking hopeful and relieved. I matched the smile he gave me and motioned for him to come in. He took one look at Bug and his breath caught.

“You had a girl.” He whispered, clearly in awe.

I nodded, “John, meet Dinah.”

John let out the breath he had been holding, breathing out a, “She’s perfect.” I saw his entire being light up as, much like with Jacob, Bug took hold of his finger as he went to touch her chubby cheek. She opened her eyes for a moment before closing them and settling back into dreamland. “Her eyes are gray.” He said mesmerized. He let out a breath that nearly sounded like a chuckle as he looked to me. He was so happy, and it was rubbing off on me. I matched his smile.

Faith walked in not long after John and the look on her face told me she was slightly uncomfortable. She walked up timidly, eyeing the tiny human in my arms, and said, “Are you two okay?”

I reached a hand out to her, Faith taking it willingly, and said, “Yes, we’re both okay.” After a moment of silence I added, “Babies make you nervous, don’t they?”

She nodded a look of guilt on her face. I couldn’t help but smile and say, “Same. I’m afraid I’ll drop her.” At that, Faith let out a giggle.

~~

_The Next Week_

Bug was fine and with the help of my fellow Deputies I went back home. The snow had been removed from around my little home and I saw people heading in and out of my front door. They were Project members taking groceries into my home. I couldn’t help it, I teared up at the sight. They chose to help me when they had no obligation to. They were taking care of me without having been asked.

One young man noticed I had arrived and smiled wide at me. He was one of the Rawlins’s boys. He nodded his head and continued to unpack the van full of groceries. I walked in; Bug tucked in the little wrap holding her to my check and was shocked at how beautiful my home was. Not only was my fridge being stocked and pantry organized, the entirety of my home had been cleaned to the point it sparkled.

There was a play pin set up in the living room. A quick peak in the nursery I saw that a gorgeous handmade crib was set up – the deep wood looking right at home in the cabin style I had began decorating the room with. It appeared that the Project members finished my design. The rocking chair was tan, and the blanket draped over it was a red and black plaid. Above the crib was a painting of a moose. And the changing table was the same colored wood as the crib with the pad being the same as the blanket.

I couldn’t believe the kindness that had been extended to me and my child. Before I knew it, I whispered out the question, “Why?”

The young man from a moment ago walked up to me and said, “We wanted to show you we care. You’re the Mother and we want to make you feel welcome.” The words the young man had spoke to me was shocking. He said it with such ease, called me the Mother with such ease… were they right? Was Joseph right after all?

“Help your dad with the last of the groceries, young man.” Called Mrs. Rawlins. He nodded his head to me and headed off to help his dad, leaving me to reflect on what he had said.

Bug stirred in my hold before settling back down. I rubbed her back instinctively as I walked to the rocking chair and sat down. As I kicked my feet up and reclined into the comfy chair, I mumbled, “They care.”

~~

_Easter, Two Months Later_

With Bug strapped to me I walked up to the commotion. It was Easter in Hope County and I was happy to see that I couldn’t pick out a Project Member from a Resistance fighter. We were one family now, no more factions.

There was a delicate balance that was going on. Project members were overjoyed when they heard that the Father had delivered the Mother’s daughter. They felt it was fate that brought Joseph and I together that day. Resistance fighters were thankful to Joseph for helping me and not taking the opportunity to hurt me or my child. From the day of Bug’s birth, the two factions completely left their prejudice aside.

I saw John, who the instant he saw me rushed to my side and smiled. He had taken to being an Uncle so quickly it was shocking. He cooed over Bug and fussed with the designer beanie I had put her in. He had gotten it for her the moment I told him he could get her things. He placed a kiss to my cheek and said, “How have you been Leah?”

“I’ve been good. Your members have been so nice. The Rawlins have kept my fridge stocked for the past couple months. It’s been so nice not needing to worry about shopping.” I said, happily taking a water bottle from the proclaimed Baptist. He ushered the way to where Pratt, Hudson, and Faith were sitting. Jacob was at the cooking pit with some of the other cooks and Joseph was speaking with some of the Project members. It was Sunday, after all.

“I can tell everyone to ease up, if you need.” John said. Ever since Bug’s birth, the Project members rose to the occasion. They brought food for me – casseroles! So many casseroles! They brought diapers and formulae. They brought a rocking chair and changing table. They brought car seats and play pins. It was so kind of them the way they had come to help me. And, in allowing them to do all that it helped the healing that everyone needed.

Shaking my head, I answered as I took a sip of water, “No, it’s fine. I’m used to it now.” It was true. There were people that belonged to Joseph’s flock that I had been close with prior to the conflict that resulted from arresting Joseph. It was nice to have them back in my life.

John and I continued chatting for a bit. We stopped, though, when a few young men walked up and smiled at me. One was shoved forward, clearly having been voted their spokesperson. He straightened up and said, “The Father says that we aren’t supposed to call you Mother… is… why….” His courage slowly faded until he was left stuttering in place. His face was growing red and his friends were quickly beginning to get nervous as well. Eventually, the young man just blurted it out, “Please be our Mother!”

The young man before me, no more than thirteen years old, shocked me to the core. It was truly that important to Project members that I take the role of the Mother. I hadn’t known how deeply it was believed until I saw such a sweet and brave young man beg me to take the mantle. To be _their_ Mother. Hudson and Pratt blinked, knowing that tension was rising in the air. John stiffened and I could see in the distance that everyone was looking at us now.

Joseph’s mouth was agape. Jacob looked like he was going to chuck something at the young man. Everyone was looking at us. Tears stung in the eyes of the young man and my heart began to break for him. Gently, I handed Bug to John and asked, “What’s your name, young man?”

He squared his shoulders as I stood to speak with him. It was clear that he thought I was going to chastise him. He said in a guarded tone, “Levi, ma’am.”

I couldn’t help but look at Levi, the look of desperation in his eyes caused my heart to break. Before I knew it, I had pulled Levi into my hold. I felt his arms wrap around me as I whispered to him, “I’m sorry you’re upset, Levi. I never meant for you or anyone else to be sad.” The young man sniffled in my arms and buried his face in my chest as he started to cry. I could hear him said that I was supposed to be the Mother and be there for all of them. That he wanted me to be their Mother. That everyone knew that something was missing: me. I shushed him and with tears pricking my own eyes. He was so sad and looking around I could see that other members shared the feeling.

Joseph walked up and placed a hand on Levi’s back and my own. He smiled down at Levi, who was beginning to dry his eyes, and said, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” The scripture was comforting to Levi as he finally smiled. Though it was a sad one.

~~

_Three Months Later_

Bug giggled in the Faith’s arms. Said woman was overjoyed by the little bundle in her arms. The conservatory was so beautiful, having been spruced up and reopened after Joseph agreed to rid Hope County of the Bliss. I needed to get to work for the day and knew that Faith would be delighted to have Bug all to herself for the day. Everyone in Hope County vied for the ability to babysit but today Faith won.

“How have you been?” Faith asked me as I double checked that I brought everything she would need.

“I’ve been okay. Tired, but okay. Between the balancing act that we all keep doing and this little one,” I tickled Bug’s belly to entice a giggle out of her, “I’m beat.”

Faith nodded, understanding that Joseph and I were in a constant dance together. If we stepped out of time even once everyone would pick up on it. If that happened, then there was a high possibility that everything would explode again. Joseph had made changes that made his flock more accepting of those that did not follow Joseph’s teachings. I managed to get everyone to be at the very least tolerant and polite to Project members.

I pecked a kiss to Bug’s head, causing her to giggle, and turned to head to my patrol car. I waved as I got back in. No matter how many times I had to leave her with someone, it never got any easier. I wanted to take her with me, but my job was no place for a baby. With Faith smiling and waving Bug’s hand to me I drove off. No sooner had I gotten five minutes down the road I heard over the radio, “Rook, got a call for ya.”

Off I went to the call. Someone called in for a wellness check. A neighbor was worried for the young man next to them. Said that he wouldn’t answer his door and that there they were being uncharacteristically quiet. I ran with lights but no sirens in order to not spook the guy. If he was hesitating, the last thing I wanted to do was force his hand.

I could feel my phone buzzing – the communication outside Hope County had been restored once the snow melted last summer. I answered it on my headset and said, “Yes?”

It was Joseph, “Leah, I was hoping you could drop by someone’s house for me. I’m worried I haven’t heard from them in a while.”

“Text me the address and I can drop by after this call.” I said, completely willing to check on a member of his flock for him.

“Thank you. I know he has been having a hard time lately.” Joseph paused for a few seconds before saying, “I just can’t seem to reach him.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, not fully grasping what he meant.

He sighed and said, “He needs someone softer to help him. He doesn’t get on with Faith enough to trust her like that. But, neither of my brothers are the right fit either. I’m afraid he will do something drastic.”

Something in my mind started to go off. Was the call I was on now related to Joseph’s flock member? I couldn’t help but make the connections, “What do you mean by drastic? What’s got them so down?”

“I fear he will kill himself. Last we spoke he kept going on about… well, you.” He admitted. “He says that it hurts to know that the Project as a whole alienated you from us. He feels like he shares the blame for scaring of….” He stopped talking, knowing that I was still uncomfortable with the title. “Well, he thinks he helped to push you away and doesn’t know how to fix it.”

“Joseph, I think I’m already at your member’s house.” I stated as I pulled up to the address for the call I was responding to. There, on the porch, was the Project’s cross painted on the railing post. It was used as a decoration, as if it had been stamped up all the railing posts.

“If you were already on the way…” Joseph’s voice trailed off before he said, “I’ll be there soon.” Then the line went dead.

I radioed that I had arrived on premises and would attempt contact. There were no lights on that I could see, so up I went to the door, on hand on my pistol, and I knocked on the door, “Mike, it’s Deputy Rook!” No answer.

I knocked again. No answer.

Pratt arrived as I knocked for a third time. Now that he was there, I spoke out, “Mike, I need you to answer the door. I need to know you’re okay.”

Pratt reached the porch and nodded, getting ready to force the door open. That’s when we heard from inside the small home, “Please forgive me!” And then there was a huge clatter. Instantly I pulled my pistol and shot out the lock. Pratt and I busted inside the house and saw in the living room that Mike had kicked a stood out from under him. He hung himself! But his neck didn’t break… he was suffocating!

“Pratt!” I screamed as I rushed to the man and held him up.

“Got it!” He yelled as he brandished his knife and began to cut the rope that was stopping Mike from breathing. The fact that his neck hadn’t snapped was a miracle. Once the rope was severed Mike and I collapsed on the floor.

Quickly I removed the remaining rope from his neck and assessed that he wasn’t visibly injured. Pratt called for an ambulance as I comforted the crying man. He kept repeating over and over how sorry he was. But what caused me to nearly cry myself was when he asked me, “How do I make it right, Mother?”

Pratt heard that and stared in shock at him. “Make what right?” I asked, trying to ignore the fact he had called me Mother. He looked at me, our eyes locked, and that’s when I remembered him… he was the man that had drug me to Jacob… He was the one that zip-tied me to that chair and served me to Jacob on a silver platter.

Tears spilled down his face as he said, “I drove you away. We all did. How do we make that right? How do I make that right, Mother?”

~~


	7. Where were you?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When it came down to it, she had one question: Where were you?

The ambulance, per protocol, arrived and the medics began checking Mike for any serious injuries. Joseph was on scene quickly, as well, but was being kept outside the house. Mike was terrified to face the Father. He was huddled in a chair and just stared at the far wall, as if he had seen a ghost.

“Look, physically he is fine. His neck will bruise, but he is fine.” The medic said. She sighed and added, “Look, I’m worried about his mind. He needs to be at the clinic for observation, at least for 24 hours.”

I nodded, completely in agreeance, “Let me talk to him. I think he’ll agree if I ask him to.” The medic raised a brow at that but nodded and stepped aside.

I walked up and knelt down in front of Mike, the man that had drug me to Jacob. He pried his eyes from the far wall and looked at me with tears pricking at his vision. I gently placed my hands on his knees and said, “Mike, what happened?”

A tear rolled down his face as he whispered, “I hurt you. I drove you away.” He timidly moved his own hands, wanting to hold mine but didn’t. His eyes widened when I took hold of his willingly.

“Mike, I hurt you too. I hurt all of you.” I admitted. It was true, I had made it my mission to destroy the Project and anyone that fought for it. Anyone that fought for Joseph was on my shit-list. I had hurt them all.

He shook his head, “You were protecting your family! You acted like any Mother would.” He sighed and added, “But I could have helped you. Instead, I delivered you to Jacob.” His eyes dropped, focusing on our hands, “I threw you to the wolves.”

I stood, overcome with the need to comfort, and hugged him. He froze for a second before he wrapped his arms around my torso. He cried into my chest, much like Levi had done a while back. Mike was clinging to me for dear life, for forgiveness. And in that moment, I knew. “I forgive you, Mike. I forgive you.” Those words made him cry harder.

As he cried, I heard footsteps. I knew, without looking, that Joseph had been allowed to enter. Mike clung to me harder, and I could feel the fear in his body. A look over my shoulder brought my eyes to Josephs and I could see a look of sadness and disappointment in those crystal eyes.

“My child,” He started with, the tone letting on to the look in his eyes, “oh, my child.”

Mike began apologizing but I stopped him and Joseph, “No.” The two looked at me, quite as could be. I continued, “No.” Joseph caught my drift and nodded. He looked to Mike and smiled lovingly. I looked into Mike’s eyes and said, “Right now, I want you to focus on you. It would make me feel better if you agreed to go to the clinic for the night. I’ll visit after my shift is over.”

Mike looked at me with hopeful eyes and said, “If it makes you happy, Mother.” I nodded to him and gave him another hug before the two of us walked out to the ambulance. I could feel Joseph’s eyes on us the entire way.

“I’ll be by after my shift.” I repeated to Mike before the ambulance doors closed. He nodded with a small smile and off they went.

I stood there, watching the ambulance drive off into the distance. Joseph’s arm wrapped around my shoulders as he said, “You did wonders for him.”

I hummed in response and added, “He was so sad.”

Joseph nodded and replied, “Of course he is sad; he let his Mother down. Any man would be sad.”

~~

_That Night_

“He’s doing well so far. Something in him is changed.” The medic from earlier that day told me as I signed the visitor log. She sounded completely in awe.

“What?” I asked, confused.

She shook her head and said, “I don’t know, just… it’s like he has hope now. Whatever you said to him may have worked.” Her eyes let me know that she had been convinced of something, even though she claimed to not know what happened. In reality, she and I both knew. I had acted as the Mother and it brought hope to a man that just needed a little love.

I resituated Bug on my hip as I set the pen down. Had it been that easy? Truly? All I had to do was forgive him? Or was it… the way I had reacted like a mother to him? I had comforted him. I had protected him. I had been a mother.

The walk was quick, considering it was a small clinic. There, in one of the three recovery rooms the clinic had, was Mike. He was reading his copy of the Book of Joseph. When I knocked and entered, he smiled, setting the tome aside. And when he saw Bug his eyes widened to the size of dinner plates! She cooed at the new person and instantly wanted to meet them. She was an inquisitive baby.

The look Mike gave me was thankful. He looked utterly thankful to me. I smiled, and said, “I hope this is okay. Faith was about done with baby-sitting duty and I missed her.” As I sat down, Mike nodded his head in awe.

“It’s absolutely fine.” He said, and added, “She’s beautiful.” He looked at Bug as if she was a miracle.

In that instant, Bug did something that she never does. Sure, she likes meeting new people. The spoiled little thing was rarely on the ground due to everyone in the county wanting to hold and cuddle her. Even though she loved people, she never pushed away from me. Never. But that had finally changed. She pushed against my chest. She instantly didn’t want to be held by me. She reached for Mike, opening and closing her little fists.

I giggled and said, “I think she wants you to hold her.”

Mike instantly looked afraid. He shook his head no and said, “I… I don’t know how….”

Bug continued to fuss and was close to all out hissy fit. I sighed, trying not to lose my patience with Bug and said, “I’ll help you.” And so, Mike took hold of Bug. I helped situate his hands and arms. Bug instantly quieted back down. As Mike looked in awe at the tiny life in his arms, Bug did something else that awed us. She took her tiny hands and placed them on either side of Mike’s face. The way the two looked at each other was heartwarming. The way Bug was gently – for a baby – tapping his face was sweet.

What we didn’t see was Joseph peaking in on us before sneaking out unseen.

~~

_The Next Day: 2 P.M._

Jacob was lying on the ground with Bug on his chest. She would giggle uncontrollably as he would lift her in the air, making airplane noises, before setting her back down on his chest. He chuckled himself as Bug grabbed her own foot and attempted to contort so she could stick it right in her mouth.

“Such a warrior.” I chided as I walked into the office that Jacob had at the Veteran’s Center. He was one of the people running it and had led the work to fixing the place back up. Though he had been reluctant in accepting the position that the entire community had offered him.

Jacob scoffed and said, “Yeah, yeah.” He sat up, cuddling Bug to his chest. The look in his eyes, true happiness, never left as he took in my arms full of paperwork. He raised an eyebrow and asked, “Those the cases you have to finish?”

I nodded and took over his desk, “Yup. Figured I could hide out here and finish up the files.” Bug reached a tiny little hand and grabbed onto the scruff of Jacob’s chin. He let out a grunt as she tugged.

“That partner of yours able to help with those?” He asked as he began the slow process of gently releasing Bug’s grip on his beard.

I nodded, “He’s got the other half of the stack.” Opening the file on the top I added, “I just needed to get out of the station.”

Jacob nodded in understanding. There were few places I was able to be left alone. His office was one of those places. With his legs bent up so Bug could rest against his thighs, he tickled her belly as he asked over her laughter, “Members not leaving you alone?”

I nodded, biting the end of my pen, “Word got out about what I did for Mike. Now everyone is coming to thank me.” I scribbled some comments, iterating why I had been justified to draw my weapon, and added, “I’m happy Mike’s okay. I’m happy that things are still peaceful in Hope County. But, damnit, I need to breathe….”

“You’re always welcome to hide out here.” Jacob said. He lovingly looked at me, the same level of protectiveness he had for Bug being directed at me, “Always.”

My words caught in my throat. I hadn’t been expecting that kind of emotion from the man before me. Of all the Seeds, Jacob and I had one of the most difficult relationships to heal. The times I had heard that bloody song play since the peace, the fear that would rise up in my throat… but each time he had somehow been there and comforted me, kept me from losing it.

Jacob seemed to materialize next to me. Clearly, I had zoned out. He placed a hand on my shoulder and said, “I mean it.”

I placed my hand atop his on my shoulder and said, “Thank you, Jacob. It means a lot.”

~~

_Sunday_  
Joseph’s Island  
Project at Eden’s Gate Church

Of all the days to get a call… of all the places to get a call! There were a few people still in Hope County that weren’t accepting of the peace that had been accomplished. From both sides. For the most part it had been secluded to some bar fights occasionally. But today, Sunday during Joseph’s sermon, I got a call.

_“911 call. All units respond. Active shooter at the Project’s church!”_ Came Nancy’s voice over the radio.

Pratt looked at me, silently telling me to hurry. The lights came on and off we sped. We needed to get there quickly. Nancy explained the rest, Pratt and I taking it all in. Unknown number of suspects. One person was potentially fatally shot, two more injured. Time was ticking and it wasn’t on our side.

Hudson arrived just about the same time as we did. There wasn’t much time for us to determine the best course of action. Things were quiet and apparently one of the suspects had called in and demanded that the deputies enter. They wanted an audience, and if they didn’t get it they were going to kill one person per minute – starting with the women – until we got in there.

“Sheriff,” I called over the radio, “We’re heading in. get reinforcements placed around the perimeter.” There was no way we were going to let the suspect/s get away.

_“Copy that Rook.”_

With nods all around we headed for the door. Before entering, I called out, “This is Deputies Rook, Pratt, and Hudson. We are going to enter the church!” There was a feeling of déjà vu as I placed a hand on the door. It was much like when I had entered to arrest Joseph. And just like then, I had a terrible feeling. Just like then, I wanted to turn and run far away.

But we all continued and, as the doors opened, I was met with a horrifying sight. Terrified eyes filled the pews as John and Jacob held their hands up as two gunmen pointed rifles at their faces. Joseph was on the ground holding Faith whose white blood was stained a deep red. A third gunman was smirked as he held a gun aimed right at Joseph.

Pratt, Hudson, and I all pulled pointed our already drawn pistols out and pointed them at the gunmen. The one aiming for Joseph smirked and announced to the room, “You have harmed the people of Hope County! It is time to pay!”

Faith coughed, face showing how much pain she was in, and Joseph chocked back a sob. He was desperately holding her wound, clearly trying to stop the blood. I could see him praying. No, not praying. He was begging. He was begging God to save his sister.

“Hope County Sheriff’s Department, put your weapons down!” Pratt demanded as I radioed for help. The three gunmen smirked at Pratt and just held their weapons at their targets still.

“Finally, you come.” Said the man with his weapon pointed at Joseph. He smirked and pointed to me with his free hand.

I stepped forward, pistol trained on him, and said, “Faith needs medical attention.”

He smirked and said, “She’ll die soon enough.” The man inhaled and added, “You failed us all, Deputy.” The look in his eyes held hurt and betrayal. Something in him had snapped and I felt that he was about to tell me what I had to do with that.

Pratt spoke next, “How about we all put the guns down?”

The man snorted in reply, “How about no.” His eyes went from Pratt to me and he continued, “Deputy Rook, you failed the very community you swore an oath to protect.” His eyes glared at me, true hatred beginning to pour through. “So, the devil was kind to you for a moment. That doesn’t excuse what they did!”

I nodded and lowered my pistol, “You’re right. They showed me kindness.” I took a step forward as I holstered my weapon, “And no, it doesn’t excuse what was done. But the Project, the Seeds, aren’t the only ones that caused pain.” I continued to step forward until I was nearly to the man and said, “But of all the people that have extended the olive branch and taken every action to make amends, it’s Faith.” I motioned to the dying woman as I spoke.

The man continued his glare, but I could see the doubt begin to seep in. “You just want to save your _new_ family.” The confused look that spread across my face urged the man on. He nearly screamed out his next words, “YOU’RE THEIR **MOTHER** NOW!”

I was at a loss for words. After all I had done… all I had endured for the people of Hope County to live in peace…

He continued to rant, “You failed us when you forgave them! You failed us when you encouraged their peace offering! YOU FAILED US WHEN YOU BECAME THEIR FUCKING MOTHER!” He continued in that manner as sirens from the ambulance started to sound, signaling it was a few minutes out. He continued on about how I had personally failed the Resistance and should pay for it. How I hadn’t done enough. How I wasn’t the fighter they thought I was.

Something in me, after the spewing of hate the man in front of me had let loose, snapped. This time, though I knew better, I screamed in retaliation, “WHERE WERE YOU?” The man stopped his word vomit and blinked in fear. “Where were you when John carved me up? Where were you when Faith drugged me and twisted my reality? Where were you when I was dragged into Jacob’s den and mind-fucked until I couldn’t recognize myself?” Tears began to prick my eyes, “Where were you when I fought Faith’s Angels and one sent me flying over a cliff? Where were you when I had to pop my shoulder back in sock after a fucking honey badger mauled me half to death? Where were you when I thought I was going to die? Where were you when Andy beat me to a pulp in my own home, breaking three of my ribs? Where were you when I ran, and he chased me half-way across Hope County at night? Where were you when the father of my child nearly killed me?”

Everyone in the room was tearing up as the gunman before me opened and closed his mouth, unable to find words to say. John and Jacob both looked mortified as they realized just how much pain they had caused me. Joseph’s begging paused as he looked up at me with tears pouring down his face. Faith gave me a sad smile as blood trickled from the corner of her mouth.

I scoffed, holding back the sobs that wanted to rip from my chest, “Nothing to say for yourself? Well, I’ll tell you what I was doing while you were hiding away in your fucking homes! I was fighting. I was getting shot, taking bullets for you. I was trying to survive long enough to do some good around here. I was trying to make a better place for my _child_! In turn it made Hope County a better place for everyone. I’m sorry if it wasn’t the outcome you wanted, but it is the outcome you got.” Tears were streaming down my face now. The ambulance parked outside the church and medics began to rush in.

The gunman suddenly freaked, realizing things weren’t going how he wanted. He redirected his gun from Joseph to me and screamed, “IT’S NOT ENOUGH!” Before anyone could react, he pulled the trigger.

~~


	8. Frightened

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He hadn't been frightened in a long time. Lately, it seemed all she was able to be was frightened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all!
> 
> So here is about where the story takes a bit of a self-indulgent turn. I'm not even sorry so I hope you just go with the flow!
> 
> Love,  
> Luna

Bullets were flying. I couldn’t tell who was shooting who. There was screaming coming from every direction. I was on my back, gasping for air. The bulletproof vest had done the job of stopping the bullet, but the force that it carried was still enough to knock the wind out of me.

I could hear a yell that was akin to a war cry ring out, followed promptly by the sound of bodies hitting the floor. From my spot on my back, splayed out and gasping for air, I saw Jacob in a near feral state. The gunman immediately before him cowered in fear as Jacob ripped the gun from the man’s hands. Using the side of the gun, he bashed the man across the face, sending him flying backwards. In a fluid motion, the soldier shot the gunman in front of John in the foot. As the man clattered to the floor Jacob took another shot, the bullet making contact with the man’s right arm. “Check on Faith!” Jacob commanded John as he sized up the man that had shot me.

Jumping to action, more out of a sense of self-preservation than of training, I assessed quickly. Jacob had clobbered the gunman nearest him and John. Joseph was covering Faith with his body, hand still keeping pressure on her wound but eyes on me. His eyes show true horror but also relief. The gunman that had shot me, however, was furious I had survived. There wasn’t much time, I had to make a decision. Fight or flight? Fight or flight? Make a choice! _‘MAKE A CHOICE!’_

The gunman aimed again as I rushed him. One shot zinged past my temple. Another connected with my right shoulder. He went for another as I continued toward him. His gun jammed and that was all the time I needed. He screamed in fear as I disarmed him, rammed the buttstock into his face and knocking him on his ass.

The backup sent by Sheriff busted inside and along with Project members apprehended the gunmen. Just as I stumbled and lost my balance, Jacob reached me. His arms caught me easily as I attempted to breathe normally. It still felt like my lungs wouldn’t work properly. Jacob, in an instant, began unbuttoning my shirt and began undoing the vest. I didn’t even question it. I needed the vest off.

“That was impressive, Pup.” He muttered as he chucked the vest to the side. I was left in a green tank, the bullet wound in my shoulder completely visible. He checked it out, noting the bullet had gone clean through. He looked at my temple, allowing me a good look into his eyes. There was fear in them.

“Jacob….” I whispered, completely shocked at him. He had come to my aid. He rushed into battle for me.

In a moment of weakness, one that I wouldn’t betray to anyone, Jacob cupped my face and whispered, “I thought we lost you.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead and added softly, “I thought _I_ lost you.”

I held onto his arms and closed my eyes, finding momentary comfort in the loving gesture, “But you didn’t.”

As we parted, the medics were already taking Faith out of the church. I looked to Joseph, who was still on the ground where he had held his sister. His eyes were locked on his hands that were covered in Faith’s blood and trembling. Before I could even make a move to go to him, I heard a soft and terrified, “Mother?” Followed by a scream.

My eyes scanned for the owner of the small voice. What I found was Levi holding his stomach as blood managed to leak from around his fingers and his mother screaming as she realized her son has been shot. The sweet boy that had stocked my fridge for months, helped me with Bug, and tried to understand why I was afraid of the Project was holding his stomach with fear-filled eyes.

I didn’t even think about it. I rushed for him screaming, “LEVI!” He fell into my arms as I reached him. “Levi, hold on!” I easily picked him up and rushed to my patrol truck. Pratt wasn’t far behind. “Levi, you hold on. I’m right here. We’re gonna get you help, I promise.”

He was shivering, clearly having gone into shock, as he said, “Mother, I’m scared.”

I held him to me, holding back tears, and said, “It’s okay to be afraid. I’m here. I’ll protect you.” I could feel his tears soak into my shirt as Pratt rushed us to the small clinic in town. They had to help this poor boy! They had to help him… they had to.

“You’re hurt.” He mumbled through the pain and shivers. His hand shakily went to my shoulder, careful not to touch the bullet wound.

“Don’t you worry about that. I’m fine.” I said, holding my tears back still. The look in his eyes told me he wasn’t convinced.

“Why did they shoot you like that? Why was that man… so upset with you?” Levi winced as he spoke, clearly in pain.

I resituated him when I saw he was hurting more. With Levi resting more comfortably, I continued to put pressure on his stomach as I said, “Joseph and I started a war here. Some people aren’t ready to stop fighting.” I placed a kiss to Levi’s temple.

“But… he was angry at you. He shot Faith and you… not the Father.” Levi said weakly. Pratt caught on to the sudden changed and sped faster.

“War doesn’t always make sense.” I told Levi right as he passed out. No sooner had he lost consciousness had Pratt skidded the vehicle to a stop right outside the clinic doors. Volunteer medics were already at the doors, waiting for us. I helped them get Levi inside and then… it was a waiting game.

Pratt stayed with me as I waited. I waited for news of Levi and Faith. It wasn’t until Pratt pulled me into a hug that I realized I was crying. No, not crying… I was sobbing. I was sobbing for the pain that was still causing hurt to people I cared for. Joseph and I started a war… and it was still hurting the innocent of Hope County….

~~

_Two Hours Later  
Clinic: Hope County_

“Mr. and Mrs. Rawlins?” Came the voice of the nurse sent to update them. I didn’t step forward, I wasn’t family. Yet, I listened with everything in me. I needed to know that Levi was alright. “The bullet did some damage, but he got here in time.” The nurse smiled as Mr. Rawlins thanked her and then went back through the door to the operating room.

I was relieved, somewhat. Levi would be alright! I rubbed my face and sighed a bit. At least Levi was going to be fine. Now, I had to wait on news of Faith.

“Thank God! Levi is going to live, thank God!” I heard Mrs. Rawlins say as she began to cry. Joseph had arrived not long after I got Levi to the clinic and so began to pray to God for the Rawlins. He gave thanks for the saving of Levi, for the doctors working on him and for me for getting him to the clinic in time.

I stayed quiet, completely uncomfortable with overhearing the prayer. But I was pulled from my own mind as a set of arms surrounded me and pulled me into a bone-crushing hug. Mrs. Rawlins was embracing me as she said, “Thank you so much! You saved my baby! You saved my boy! Thank you so much, Mother.” I didn’t know what to say to that. I just hugged her back.

The doors opened again, and another nurse entered the waiting room. The look on their face was grim. They inhaled slowly and called out, “Seed family?”

Joseph stepped forward and held a hand out. I realized that he held his hand out to me. As Mrs. Rawlins released me, I stepped forward and took Joseph’s hand. The feeling of him gripping my hand, trembling, I could tell that he needed support. He was terrified and needed comfort.

The nurse nodded to us and said, “She’s lost a lot of blood and there’s extensive damage.” Joseph stiffened visibly and made to ask a question but stopped when the nurse held their hand up, “She isn’t out of the woods, but… if she pulls through the night the doctor expects a full recover. _IF_ she pulls through the night” They reiterated the caveat and then headed back through the door they had entered from.

As the words sunk in, Joseph seemed to lose all strength. His body betrayed him as his knees buckled from under him. I caught him, guiding him to the chair beside him, as I said, “She’s a fighter, Joseph. You know that.” I sat next to him and allowed him to continue to hold my hand.

~~

_Sunrise  
Recovery Room 2_

As the sun rose on the horizon, lighting up the room and effectively waking me up, I realized that I had slumped into an awkward position. My back was knotted up and my neck was practically stuck at an uncomfortable angle.

I groaned a bit as I popped and cracked my joints until I was able to move freely again. It took maybe two minutes to completely contort the sleep from my bones. Once finished I heaved a sigh and took a look at the woman in the hospital bed. She was hooked up to so many machines keeping track of her vitals and the I.V. drip that kept her from feeling the pain she was in.

Joseph was seated next to her bed, arms acting as pillows as he leans on the side of the bed. His hand still holding hers. He had held her hand the instant we were let in the recovery room.

I noted the sunrise and smiled, “She made it through the night.” And just as I looked back to Faith, I was met with a set of beautiful blue eyes looking at me. She was looking at me with those crystal blue eyes! “Faith!” I exclaimed, effectively waking Joseph.

His head snapped up and he saw Faith awake and smiling. Instantly bursting into tears, he exclaimed, “Thank God!”

I stood up and headed to find the doctor. It was a miracle, a real-life fucking miracle!

~~

_Mid-day  
Rook’s Home_

I was resting in the rocking chair Levi had set up for me all those months ago, rocking Bug as she fed. In the quiet of the nursery, I was able to reflect of the shocking events that had happened over the past day. As I held my baby to my breast and fed her, I whispered a ‘thank you’ out to the universe. It was a miracle I was able to come back home and be with my daughter.

Faith was going to recover, and Levi would be on his way home soon. It was all a fucking miracle!

“Leah?” Came Jacob’s voice as I heard my front door open.

I called back, “Nursery!”

Jacob cleared the distance faster than I anticipated. I saw the ginger enter the nursery as I was reaching for something to cover my chest. With a blush instantly on my face I watched as Jacob took in the sight before him and smile.

He reached for me and handed over the burp rag for me to cover with. He gently smoothed the little bit of hair Bug had as he said, “You don’t need to cover if you don’t want to.” He looked to me and added, “It’s natural.”

The blush was still there, but I thanked him.

He nodded and shuffled his feet, “I… I just needed to make sure you were okay.”

Bug fussed a bit, signaling that she was done eating. I resituated her so I could start burping her. The entire time I looked to Jacob, the strong and stubborn man before me. He wasn’t telling me everything. “I’m fine, Jacob. But you already knew that.” He nodded but didn’t say anything. He just knelt down in front of me, placed a hand on Bug’s back, and closed his eyes. Reached out and touched his face, cupping his cheek, and asked, “What’s bothering you?”

A single tear escaped his impossibly long lashes and trickled over my fingers. His other hand covered mine on his face as he leaned into the contact, “I thought they killed you.” He opened his eyes, shining with unshed tears, and added, “You went down, and I saw red.”

“You came to my rescue.” I smiled at him.

His eyes crinkled as he returned my smile and said, “You didn’t need rescuing. You did just fine on your own.” I could tell he wanted something more. Maybe he wanted to say something? But he stopped himself and settled down to lay his head on my lap. “But still, I thought I lost you.”

“Jacob, what’s going on?” I asked as I ran my fingers through his hair, nails raking across his scalp gently. I felt him wrap his arms around my legs as he settled further into my lap. He was relaxing. I could feel his defined muscles loosen as he exhaled. With each exhale it was as if he was manually relaxing each individual muscle.

“The thought of losing you actually frightened me, Pup.” He admitted after a long silence. I kept threading my fingers through his hair as he continued. “It’s been a long time since I was afraid.” Bug fussed right then, as if to get his attention. He gladly reacted to the little life. He stood up, gently taking her in his arms, and began cooing at here. The giant man before me was so sweet with Bug. He looked peaceful while holding her. It gave me time to re-dress myself.

He settled Bug into her crib as she fell asleep, “The thought of you not being able to come home to your daughter made me angry. I wanted to rip that man apart.” A chuckle sounded from him when he turned to look at me and was met with the sight of me struggling to get my shirt back in place. The bruise from where the bullet had connected through the vest was visible now. My sternum was a deep purple/black and it sure did hurt to move.

He walked back to me and began buttoning my shirt for me. The blush returned as his fingers gently grazed the skin where the bruise was. Gentle yet calloused fingers rested there as his eyes took in the sight. His eyes rose to meet mine and I watched as he inched closer and closer. Before I knew it, his lips were a mere centimeter from mine. His eyes closed and I could feel his breath on my skin.

“Jacob.” I whispered. As I did so my lips touched his. In that instant, I felt his hands take hold of my face as he pressed into me. His lips crashed into mine in a heat I hadn’t known before. The feeling was animalistic and, if I was being honest, arousing. I matched his ferocity after the initial shock wore off. Our hands began to explore one another and without realizing it, I began to unbutton his shirt.

A knock to the front door broke us apart. Jacob, buttoning his shirt back up, smoothed his hair and wiped his face before entering the living room. I could hear him address John as he closed the nursery door. I was left there sitting in the rocking chair, shirt unbuttoned and hair a mess. As I stood slowly, I touched my kiss swollen lips and whispered into the quiet room, “Jacob.”

~~


	9. Love Me, Please

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She was tired of being alone. He was tired of putting on an act.

_Hope County_  
Rook’s Home  
Two Days Later

I was once again reclined in the rocking chair in the nursery. Bug was asleep on my chest, her tiny breaths tickling my collarbone as I held her gently. She had fought me every step of the way in being put down for a nap. In the end, we compromised: I held her during her nap.

My phone lit up, alerting me to a message. It was from Jacob; saying that he was on his way. I tapped out a reply with my free hand, warning him Bug had just gone down for a nap. I didn’t have the patience to hunt and peck out the information that she was on top of me, so I would tackle that when he got here.

I hadn’t seen Jacob since he kissed me… what had happened? What had gotten into him? I contemplated all of it as I began the stealthy laying down of Bug in her crib. Her cute, chubby cheeks were so cute her long lashes fluttered in her sleep. I needed to make it from the chair to the crib. That was the first hurdle. Each step threatened to wake her, and God was I terrified of having to start all over.

First hurdle done! Now to reposition her so I can get her in the crib. This was dangerous, her head would move, and it could wake her up. But she stayed asleep! I heard the door open softly, followed by light steps. Jacob was here.

I knew he was at the nursery door as I finally set Bug in her crib. Pausing momentarily, I took in the sight of my daughter sleeping peacefully. A scarred hand came into view and gently caressed her cheek. The little snot smiled and let out a tiny yawn, waking only just so before falling back into sleep.

A hand snaked around my waist, as if it were the most normal thing. He was so kind, so sweet. Jacob and I walked out quietly, closing the nursery door behind us. The hand on my waist never leaving me. We walked together to the kitchen and only then did we part. He sat at the counter while I put a pot of coffee on.

“Leah, I need to explain myself.” Jacob said in the silence. I scooped the coffee grinds into the filter as I nodded, signaling I was listening. I heard him inhale and collect himself. Whatever he was about to say was going to be hard for him. “In the church, when you went down… I thought you were dead. I couldn’t see if you were breathing and that _terrified_ me.”

I turned to face him, confusion and concern on my face, “Why? Why would it matter that much to you if I had died?”

He looked at me, eyes holding the same confusion as mine, “Leah, think back to when we were fighting. When we were enemies. When you were at the Center, I kept you apart from everyone else. You had amenities that the others didn’t get.”

I thought back on it and realized he was right. He had treated me better than the others he had captured. He kept me on the cusp of starving, but never allowed me to go without water. When I refused… I can still remember it.

_~~_

_“Can’t go without water, Pup.” Jacob’s voice rang out. It was meant to sound menacing, but there was concern there as an undertone. I refused to answer him. If I opened my mouth, he would force it down my throat. My lack of answer was enough to make him angry. The door to the cell crashed open and in Jacob came. One strong hand grabbed a wad of my hair and yanked backwards. He took the opportunity of my grunt of pain to begin pouring water down my throat. “Better drink or you’ll choke.”_

_I did as told. Once the water was down Jacob sighed, “I don’t want you to die.”_

_I scoffed, “No, you want me to do your dirty work.”_

_He looked at me with saddened eyes, though anyone else would think he was just glaring at a disobedient pup. But I could see it, his heart hurt when he looked at me. He sighed, let go of my hair, and stepped back, “I never wanted this, Pup.”_

~~

“Leah, I was shit at showing it… but I’ve been…” he looked at me with a desperation. He wanted me to stop him from speaking. He wasn’t one for words like he was currently saying. “Interested in you for a while.”

I nodded, “That’s why you caught me that night, the night when I was running from Andy.” I poured us coffee and handed him his cup. Our fingers touched and, in that moment, I felt that animalistic heat from the other day. Our eyes locked and I added, “That’s why you went after Andy.”

He nodded and continued, “I know I had no right to kiss you. I just… something about thinking you were dead made it seem like waiting wasn’t the answer anymore.” Hope soaked into his words as he added, “It felt like you agreed.”

I smirked, “It’d be a lie if it I said I didn’t enjoy it.” I couldn’t shake that heat I had felt. The hot coffee burned a bit on the way down, but it grounded me – pulled me from the memory of Jacob’s fingers on my sternum. “Be honest; what’s your angle?”

He took a drink as well, heaving a sigh as the coffee warmed him. I could see his eyes scan me, assessing if he should answer or run. I watched his chest rise as he decided to answer. “Can’t say. Not sure I’ve got any right to pursue whatever this is.” He looked at me with hope and a hunger that made me shiver. The intensity of his gaze was enough to make my knees want to buckle.

It was like Jacob could sense the effect his fucking _eye_ had on me. I saw the edge of his mouth turn upwards. His arms tensed as his muscles pushed him from his seat. He slowly stalked around the counter, growing bolder as I didn’t object with each step. He cleared the corner and was now on my side of the counter.

“Jacob,” I found myself unable to say anything else. I couldn’t make my mind work properly. I just thought back to the kiss and how Jacob had held me. My mind refused to forget how I had wanted more to happen that day.

The soldier had backed me into the corner, and – with that damn smirk still on his face – said, “You nearly drove me mad back then. The way you would rebel against my conditioning. The way you would snap at me, quick little digs, drove me insane.” His hands rested on the counter either side of me as he leaned closer. His breath fanned out on my skin as he nuzzled my cheek with his nose, “The way you caused me so much trouble, it was hard to not think you wanted my attention.”

“Jacob,” I said, the waiver in my voice audible, as I placed my hands – somewhat unsurely – on his chest. I wanted to tell him I wanted whatever this was. That kiss had lit something in me that I was unable to forget. Something I didn’t _want_ to forget.

He took a chance, no doubt emboldened by my hands on his chest, and placed his own on my hips. His thumbs rubbing circles as he said, “And that,” I felt his lips touch the spot just below my ear, “When you say my name.” His lips dragged on my skin down my jaw, “Everything about you drives me crazy. I don’t want to hide it anymore.”

I shivered in his hold. His proximity and the way he was nearly growling out his words was making standing difficult. My hands fisted his shirt as I lost balance. It was intoxicating how he was so close, what he was insinuating. As soon as I fisted his shirt Jacob jumped to action. His hands dropped to cup my butt and picked me up. I instinctively wrapped my legs around him and I could feel my adrenaline pump through my system.

He buried his face in the crook of my neck as he turned away from the kitchen, walking us towards the master bedroom. So not to wake Bug, he paused to let me open the door. As soon as we crossed the threshold, he set me on the bed. Before long he was hovered above me, “Leah, if I’ve misread this…” he placed his forehead on mine and closed his eyes, “please tell me now. I can’t have you just to lose you.”

I looked into the soldier’s eyes, taking in the utter fear he was allowing me to see, and said, “Jacob, please, love me.” After my utter catastrophe that had been my love-life over the past few years I needed to just _feel_ loved. I needed someone to care.

He could see what I was thinking, what I was thinking. He nodded his head and finally kissed me.

~~

_An Hour Later_

We were a mess of limbs, discarded clothing, and sweat. I could feel Jacob run his fingertips up and down my leg as he heaved a sigh. He sounded content and almost happy. I copied that sigh, though I was sure I sounded quite happy.

The bed dipped as he rolled toward me, strong arms pulling me in to him. It was the best feeling in the world, the way his very scent comforted me was perfect. I traced the scarring on his chest and pressed further into his hold. I had asked him to love me and love me he had. Though, hindsight being 20/20, I never should have asked that of him.

“What a thing to say.” I whispered. His chest rumbled in question. I giggled into his chest hair before answering his non-verbal question, “I asked you to love me, like some lovesick little girl.”

He held me tighter for a second and let out a chuckle of his own, “Didn’t sound like a little girl to me.” I felt him place a kiss to the top of my head, “You sounded like a woman that was tired of being alone.” We stayed like that, together in silence, for a while. He held me, protected me from the world. It was just the two of us, until over the baby monitor we heard Bug start to fuss.

I moved to go get her, but Jacob spoke up, “I’ll get her.” He grabbed his boxers from the floor and headed to the nursery. He seemed happy. Peaceful. And as I grabbed my robe from the bathroom, I realized that it felt like we were a family. A tiny little family. A tiny, perfect little family.

Jacob returned with a happy little baby in his arms. He smiled down at her, lovingly. She was grabbing at his beard, the one he had let grow ever since she had been born. Even though I was sure that it hurt for her to tug on it, he didn’t stop her. He didn’t mind. He just smiled wider at her.

Leaning against the door to the bathroom, I said, “You’re so good with her.” He looked from Bug to me, smile never fading. I couldn’t help but match such a smile. I felt just as happy as he did. Though it made no sense, I was happy that I had this moment with Jacob Seed.

“I took care of John when he was a baby. But…” He looked down at Bug when she gave a particularly hard tug on his beard, “This is different. She’s so sweet and quiet. She’s pure happiness bundled up in a blanket.” He walked to me, and – as if he had done it a thousand times before – kissed my cheek before heading to the kitchen, “I think she’s hungry.”

I smiled and followed him. I got out a small jar of baby food, mashed peas. Jacob set Bug in her highchair and gladly took the jar of baby food. Bug giggled as he made airplane noises, enticing her to eat. The entire scene was adorable.

~~


	10. Finally, I See

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It took so long for her to see what Fate had been telling her. But now, she could see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all!
> 
> I think this is the shortest chapter I have written so far, but I think it's cute and perfect as is! So, yeah! I hope you all like the fluff and don't mind the biblical lesson that is in this chapter. I did quite a bit of research for this chapter and needed to make all that reading worth it for me! Sorry in advance!
> 
> Love,  
> Luna

_Hope County Clinic  
Recovery Room 1  
Four Days Later_

I entered the small room and was met with a comical sight. There in Levi’s recovery room were his friends all crammed together. The two-seater couch had three young men on it. There was one sitting on the window sill and another was helping Levi drink some water. They all looked shocked and slightly uneasy when they noticed me.

Levi smiled and said, “The doctor told me I’m alive because you got me here in time. Thank you, Mother.” He had color back in his face, his cheeks almost rosy again.

I smiled, holding back tears, and said, “It’s good to see you awake.” Blinking the tears away, I asked, “Who are your friends?”

Levi smiled and began introducing his friends. It was almost like fate as he rattled off the names of the young men in the room. “On the sill is Reuben. This guy here,” he motioned to the friend standing next to him, “is Simon. On the couch, your left to right, is Judah, Isaac, and Zeb.”

He and his friends were named after the sons of Leah from the bible. It was like fate as they dipped their heads respectively and all chimed out, “Nice to meet you, ma’am.”

I just smiled despite the uncanny coincidence, and said, “It’s nice to meet you all too.”

~~

_Project at Eden’s Gate Cookout_   
_Joseph’s Island: Project’s Church_   
_Six Weeks Later_

We were all gathered to celebrate Faith and Levi making full recoveries. Faith was still slow moving, having a bit more healing left to do. But Levi was running around showing his friends his “gnarly” new scar and playing soccer with all the other kids.

I had arrived with Jacob, who had insisted on driving us. He had arrived in his truck, completely missing any sign of the Project’s symbol. It was just a nice silver truck. And so, we got the car seat in the back and he drove us to the gathering, just like we were a family.

It had been a few weeks since we fell in like a couple teenagers. It hadn’t slowed down. Though we thought that Joseph would have been upset, or at the least been concerned, but no. Joseph nearly split in two when we told him and all but lunged at me to wrap me up in a bear hug!

I heard giggling and the happy screams of kids as they rushed by me, chasing after the soccer ball. I giggle along with them, but called out, “Not so close to the cooking pit, boys!”

The entire group all chimed together, “Yes, Mother!” And one kicked the ball back toward the field and off they went.

Jacob tickled Bug’s side as he asked, “You okay with that?” Bug reached out for Jacob, clearly wanting the soldier to hold her and not me. So, happily, I passed her to the ginger. He held her up above his head and made airplane noises. I swear, between Jacob and John putting airplanes into her daily life she was going to grow up to be a pilot!

I shrugged, “After what happened to Levi, it doesn’t bother me anymore.” I looked towards the field and saw Levi playing with his friends.

Jacob cuddled Bug up to his chest, her little fists instantly going to his beard again, and said, “Yeah, you jumped into the fray on that one.” Bug tugged hard, causing Jacob to grunt.

I couldn’t help the giggle that escaped me as I said, “He was the first one to call me Mother. He brought me a flower while I was grocery shopping.” The memory came back to me, bringing a smile out of me. He had run up to me, breathing heavy as he grinned proudly at me with an outstretched hand. I smiled and took the little daisy he had gotten me and tucked it in my hair. As he ran off, he had called out ‘Have a good day, Mother!’ At the time I hadn’t known who he was. But he had been pivotal, in the end, to me accepting the moniker.

Joseph walked up to us, smiling at our arrival and how Bug was attempting to rip out Jacob’s beard. He opened his arms and hugged me, then his brother, “There you two are! Jacob, your expertise is needed at the cook pit.” He held his hands out to Bug who had noticed him now. She gladly reached out to be passed from on Seed sibling to another. She went for his glasses instantly, though Joseph didn’t let her get them. He set them atop of his head, his bun holding them from falling off the back of his head.

Jacob smirked and said, “Of course they do.” Then he pecked a kiss to my cheek and then Bug’s before heading over to save our meal from being burnt.

Joseph smiled at me, and said, “It’s good to see you Leah.” We walked to the nearest picnic table and settled in. But busied herself with the the lapel of his shirt as he said, “I’m so happy for you.”

He had been happy for me from the moment Jacob and I had gone to him. I, honestly, had expected him to be jealous, or upset, or _something_ other than happy. It was truly shocking.

He kissed Bug’s nose and said, “You wonder why I am so accepting of you choosing my brother?”

I blinked like a doe in the headlights, “Well, yeah.”

He looked to me with happy yet sad eyes, “I’ve already known my great love. I’ve already experienced that in my life and I’m not sure I could betray her like that.” He cradled Bug in his arms as she began to settle down, pouting due to not being able to get his glasses.

I nodded, understanding where he was coming from. “One day, I’d like you to tell me about her.” I was curious about the woman that he had loved so deeply. Though I’d never agree with his actions from that time in his life, I could tell by the way he spoke that he loved her more than life itself.

“One day I will. For now, I think that someone wants to talk to you.” Joseph said as he stood and nodded to the newcomer before leaving.

I looked up right as the newcomer spoke, “Hello, Father.” It was Levi. When he looked to me next I saw tears welling in his eyes. I smiled at him and patted the bench next to me. He quickly took a seat and smiled at me, “I wanted to thank you again, Mother.”

I took his hand and said, “I already told you, no thanks necessary.” I cupped his face with my free hand and added, “I’m just glad I got you to the clinic in time. I’m so sorry I didn’t stop the man sooner.”

He shook his head and added, “You save me. No sorry necessary.” His toothy grin made me giggle. His turn-of-phrase was clever, and I rolled my eyes. “Does this mean that everyone can call you the Mother?”

I blinked, I had yet to say out loud that I was willing to be their Mother. I paused and looked around. The gathering was a mixture of both factions. No longer could you tell the difference. We were one people again. Once enemies had returned to being neighbors and friends. It was the future I had dreamed of for my child. John was holding Bug now, sitting down next to Faith so she could coo over her. Jacob was chuckling as he took over the cooking of everyone’s dinner. Joseph was speaking with Sheriff and Hudson with smiles on their faces. It was the future I had dreamed of.

“Mother?” Levi questioned, pulling me back to the conversation.

Tears had welled in my eyes as I said, “Do you know who I’m named after?” When he shrugged his shoulders, I nodded my head, “I’m named after Leah, wife of Jacob.” I watched as the Levi connected the dots.

His eyes widened and he nearly whispered out, “The unloved wife?” He shook his head, “That’s so mean!” He was visibly upset, “Why would your parents do that? There are better people to be named after! Ruth, Esther, Eve, even Mary!” He began rattling the rest of the names he could think of from the bible. He paused and thought on it and added, “Zipporah would be pretty.”

I chuckled a bit, “Moses’ beautiful wife? I agree, that would be a very pretty name. But, yes, my parents named me Leah, and my younger sister Rachel.” I paused, let the cool breeze blow my hair wildly around me before adding, “Do you know the names of her sons?”

He shook his head before saying, “I just remember she had a lot of sons.”

I nodded, draping an arm over his shoulders, “Yes, she had a lot of sons. She gave birth to Reuben, Simon, Levi, Judah, Issachar, and Zebulun.” I could see from the corner of my eye that Levi’s eyes shot up to look at me, “She later gave birth to a daughter, Dinah.”

Levi smiled wide, “Wait, Leah was married to Jacob, right?”

I nodded, instinctively looked to the cooking pit, “Yes, she was. She gave Jacob many sons and at least one daughter.” I looked down to Levi next and said, “I think fate has been trying to get me to see for so long. It wasn’t until I saw you in that recovery room, and met your friends, that I was able to see.” I placed a kiss to the top of Levi’s head and finally said, “I’d be honored to be everyone’s Mother.”

Levi bounced up and, smacking a kiss to my cheek, ran off to his friends to tell the news. At some point in our conversation, Joseph had closed back in and heard the whole thing. I turned and saw his happy, tear-filled eyes when Bug cooed out. Joseph looked proud and honored as he mouthed _‘thank you’_.

~~


	11. Everyone's Mother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One year later, things are still changing and fences still mending. But one thing is for sure, she has become the Mother of Hope County.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all!  
> I wanted to take a moment to say that I hope everyone is safe, healthy, and happy right now. It's hard to keep spirits up when so many of us are partaking in social distancing/self-quarantine. It is important to partake in these practices right now to help mitigate this aggressive pandemic.  
> I want to work on getting some one-shot type deals out in the following week. I understand that for many of us, we seek AO3 and other such sites to escape from our day and venture into wonderful worlds full of adventure, love, angst, and mystery. Even if it’s just for a few people, I want to do my part to help with that escape.  
> Together, even if it’s from our keyboards, we will get through this.  
> Love,  
> Luna  
> ~~

_Hope County  
Leah’s House  
One Year Later_

Things had changed. So many things had changed since the day I arrested Joseph Seed. Since the day I gave birth. Perhaps, the biggest way that things had changed was how more than just my daughter called me Mother. Perhaps, it was how – much like my namesake – I had a Jacob in my life that was very important to me.

Pulling me from my reverie was Jacob as he placed a kiss to my cheek. His body molding to mine as he pressed into me. His breath tickled my skin as he said, “Good morning.”

I flipped the omelet in the pan and replied, “Good morning, sleepy-head.” I felt Jacob chuckle into me as moved to the coffee pot. I could see him, hair disheveled and clad only in a pair of sweatpants. He was quite the sight as he relaxed into his chair at the counter. Such was his routine; one he had done for the past year.

“Bug up yet?” I asked as I returned my attention to breakfast.

“Yup. She’s playing in her room.” Jacob said as he took a sip of the hot liquid.

“Good. After we eat, we have to head to the park.” I began plating the food for Jacob and me.

“That’s right. Joe wants to celebrate you becoming the Mother.” Jacob griped. He wasn’t sure how he felt about the role. To be honest, I still wasn’t sure. But after Levi called out to me that day – dying – I couldn’t say no anymore.

Just as I sat down too, legs propped up on Jacob’s lap, Bug stomped in. She was holding her stuffed wolf that Jacob had gotten her. She never went anywhere without it. Her grey eyes took in her momma and Jacob and sparkled with happiness. Her stomping brought her up to our chairs and Jacob gladly picked her up.

“Well, look here.” He cooed at her. He was so happy to hold her and let her eat some of his omelet. She had him wrapped around her pudgy little finger. It was amazing.

“Softie,” I giggled into my coffee cup as we both continued our meal.

~~

_Hope County Park  
Same Day_

Everyone was there. Kids were playing and there was a band playing upbeat music. Bug was playing with the other small children, within my sight. Pratt, offering me a beer, reclined in the seat next to me. “Thanks,” I said as I took the beverage.

“Eh, you’ve earned it.” He sipped his own before adding, “You’ve worked hard lately.”

He was right. I had served more warrants and solved more cases in the past year than any of my fellow deputies. Sheriff was ready to retire, and word had it that he was looking to me to take over. Though, I wasn’t sure I had the time for that. In response, however, I just nodded and sipped the beer.

I saw Levi helping set up the drink table. He had grown in the past year. He noticed me looking and waved, wide smile plastered on his face. I waved back and returned my attention on Pratt.

“You know, Rook, you’ve done well for yourself.” Pratt said, looking around at the happy gathering. Everyone was smiling, talking, and laughing. It was like the entire mess from that fateful day had never happened.

I couldn’t help but smile, realizing that he was right. I had found a way to peace; and along the way I found a man I was proud to have at my side. Jacob had thrived with being handed the task of reviving the Veteran’s Center. He had willingly stepped into a protective role over Bug. That had happened the minute he set eyes on her. “Yeah, I guess I have.”

“So, tell me, you got your eye on Sheriff?” He asked bluntly.

After a swig I chuckled out a reply, “Whitehorse isn’t ready to step down just yet.” I chuckled louder when Pratt bumped me with his shoulder. We shared a knowing look and just laughed. But it didn’t last long. Suddenly, there was a massive crashing sound. We looked in the direction of the baseball field. Two boys were going at it. One having been shoved into the safety fence that protected onlookers from a stray ball.

“Shit….” Pratt and I left our beers and rushed to break up the fight. As we approached, with others in tow – Joseph was highly concerned – I could see that one of the boys was Zeb, Levi’s friend. The other was a young man, Alex, who had joined the Resistance.

“Take it back!” Screamed Zeb as he swung for Alex. Alex dodged the swing and his own fist connected with Zeb’s face.

“Make me!” Alex shot back just as Zeb grabbed his collar and forced him into the fence.

Pratt caught hold of Zeb’s collar as I stopped Alex from rebounding to strike again. Pratt bear hugged Zeb to stop him from fighting while I had to sweep Alex’s legs and catch him in a wrist lock to stop him. Joseph had caught up by that time, deeply concerned for the two boys, and instantly asked, “Boys, what got into the two of you?”

Zeb immediately stopped fighting Pratt and answered with remorse, “I was angry and let it take over. Please forgive me Father.”

Pratt, hesitantly, let go of the hold he had on Zeb. I slowly let off of Alex, helping him stand. He shot a dirty look to Zeb and then Joseph before looking at me and saying, “I’m sorry Deputy Rook.”

Neither boy offered any more than that. Joseph and I sighed in unison as I said, “Not enough. What got the two of you riled up?” They didn’t answer and so my hands found purchase on my hips as I raised a single brow. It was the stance I had learned quickly. It was the stance of a mother.

Both boys’ faces fell to the ground as they said, “Sorry ma’am.” But it was Alex who offered an explanation, “Zeb wouldn’t stop calling you ‘Mother’….”

Zeb added quickly, “You said that she wasn’t the Mother because she isn’t the Father’s wife!” I could see the pain in Zeb’s face as he added, “You didn’t even try to understand what it means for her to be the Mother; you just kept slandering her! Kept saying awful things!”

“What things did you say, Alex?” Pratt asked, now beginning to get upset. That only continued when Alex refused to tell us what he said.

Zeb piped up, willingly offering the information, “He said that because the Mother is with Jacob, that she isn’t the Mother. That if she meant anything to Jacob, he would marry her. That she meant nothing to him, the Father, or the Project.” As Zeb retold what Alex has taunted, Jacob had joined the growing crowd. He glanced to me, something akin to uncertainty in his eyes, before looking to Joseph who inhaled slowly.

Joseph and I exchanged looks before he spoke to the boys, “I see. Alex, you feel that Deputy Rook would be “Mother” if she was my spouse.” Alex, though he was visibly unsure of the presence of Joseph, nodded his head. Joseph nodded in return and continued, “How singular our language tends to be. You see, “Mother” is a title given to those that nurture and raise. Often times this is a title that women take when they birth a child. It is their duty, as a Mother, to care for their child. The title is one that any woman may take when she takes on the responsibility of nurturing and raising anyone.” He placed a hand on Alex’s shoulder as he added, “Deputy Rook has taken the role of nurturing everyone in Hope County. She has provided a safe environment for you and Zeb to grow up in. She works every day for the safety and betterment of Hope County. She is there as an ear to hear and a shoulder to cry on for every soul here. She does not have to be anyone’s wife to accomplish that.”

Zeb seemed moved by Joseph’s words. Alex seemed to be processing. He looked to me, skeptical eyes assessing me head to toe, and asked, “So you’ve been this “Mother” for a while now. First for the Resistance.” He seemed proud at that, realizing I had mothered everyone long before Joseph asked me to take the mantle. I always had that nature in me. But Alex shot a triumphant look to Zeb and added, “She was the Mother to us before you Peggies.”

Zeb’s anger reignited as he let out a yell before lunging for Alex once more.

It was like slow-motion. As if I was watching my body in action, I immediately shoved Alex into Joseph’s arms before facing Zeb to catch him in my embrace. He began to cry the instant he realized I wasn’t going to hurt him or detain him, but instead hold him. His arms wrapped around me, his hands gripping at my shirt. Together we fell to the ground as he cried into my chest, “They want to take you from us!”

I looked to Joseph, who was holding a now shocked and slightly terrified Alex. The young man wasn’t fighting to get out of the arms of the religious leader. His hands were holding the arm that Joseph had crossed in front of his body, keeping him from going after Zeb. Joseph looked sad, knowing that there was still the fear of my abandoning my mantle of Mother. It was deep seeded in the Project.

Redirecting my attention to Zeb, I gently whispered, “I won’t be taken from anyone.”

From behind us, we heard Alex mutter, “She’s that important to you….”

Joseph replied to Alex, a calm and understanding tone wrapping his words, “Any mother is important to her children. Deputy Rook has been the Mother of all of us for a long time. Even before we all realized it.” He allowed Alex to step from his hold, looking at him with a loving paternal gaze.

As Zeb and I stood up, we heard Alex say, “She’s the Mother of Hope County?”

Joseph smiled and nodded, “I suppose that is correct.”

~~

_Hope County_  
Joseph’s Church  
That Night

I was reclined on a chair at the riverbank behind Joseph’s church, next to a campfire that I had stoked for the religious leader and myself. The stars out and beautiful. Joseph was reclined the same as myself and asked, “How have we managed this?”

I giggled in response, knowing he meant the reality we found ourselves in, “The truth?” I glanced at him, received an earnest nod, and continued, “Levi.” Returning my gaze to the stars I explained myself, sensing the confused glance from Joseph, “When he called out to me that day in the church… when I saw the blood spilling from between his fingers, I couldn’t run from it anymore.”

He smiled sadly, “He was an innocent. I regret letting him be hurt in my own church….”

“That gunman was angry at me. It was my fault.” I said, and I meant it. If I had paid more attention to the disgruntled Resistance members, I would have seen that attack coming.

Joseph, abandoning his chair, moved to kneel before me. His hands rested on my knees as he said with an intense amount of eye contact, “You are not to blame, Leah. You followed orders. I was the one that instructed my flock to attack. I ordered the Reaping.” He was so close. Closer than he had been for a long time.

I nodded, unsure what to do with such proximity. The last time he had been so close I had been in labor. One would think that how close we had been then, him having delivered my damn daughter, would have gotten me over the nerves of him being close to me!

His next move, somewhat hesitant, was to close the distance as he nearly whispered, “Leah, you could never be blamed for any of that. Ever….” Then as our faces inched close together, he placed a soft kiss to my cheek, nearly at the corner of my mouth. One of his hands cupping the opposite cheek while the other braced on my mid-thigh. It wasn’t sexual, it was just loving.

I closed my eyes, too overwhelmed to respond. In the time I had known Joseph, I had experienced him as indifferent, hostile, cordial, and fanatical. When I was in labor, I experienced him as protective and kind. But what I was currently experiencing was pure love. It was kind and pure, sparkling and bright. Tears pricked my eyes, too taken aback by the loving gesture for me to know what to do. Joseph began wiping my tears as he whispered reassurances. He was being kind and for the first time, he was being the Father to me. He let me have my soft cry all the while reassuring me that I was not to blame.

~~

_The Following Week_

It had been a full day of calls, warrants, and arrests. Most of it was petty shit. But it was work, nonetheless. So, as I finished up the most recent bit of paperwork, I took note that Hudson plopped herself on my desk and announced to me, “So, I’ve got a question.”

I signed the bottom of the paperwork and closed the file – depositing it in the ‘finished’ slot. Grabbing another and huffing a strand of hair from my face, I mumbled, “So I’ve gathered.”

She mock laughed at me and said, “Well, aren’t you going to ask me what it is?” She, annoyingly, placed her hand on my paperwork. Effectively stopping me from my work. Pratt snorted a bit at that, safe from his desk opposite mine and out striking distance.

I shot him an annoyed look before answering Hudson, “You want to ask the question and I have no objection to hear it.” I removed her hand from my work and continued. I could hear her giggle, knowing she had won my interest.

“You’ve been with Jacob for a while now, but how is anyone in the Project okay with that? You two aren’t married.” She asked. Her words held some merit. Pre-marital sex was frowned upon in the Project. Jacob and I were living together; it was no secret we were sleeping together.

I inhaled, catching the scent of someone heating up their lunch – which caused my stomach to churn. It was just like Hudson to ask something of a personal nature in the middle of the bullpen of our fucking job! Pinching the bridge of my nose, more so to focus on settling my stomach, I answered, “The Project has eased up a bit on their stance on pre-marital sex. Joseph is just happy that his brother is happy. I doubt that he would push the subject.” I opened the drawer of my desk and grabbed my little baggie of saltines and began nibbling on one, “Besides, I doubt Jacob’s the marrying type.”

Hudson eyed my saltines, but whatever she thought about it she didn’t share, “Maybe not legal marriage.” She smirked at me, still not moving from my desk.

With a roll of my eyes I replied with a curt, “If you suggest he thinks of us as ‘mates’ I’m going to shoot you.” After a moment of silence all of us burst into laughter.

~~


	12. The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It had been a long journey to where they were. But, in the end, things turned out exactly as they were supposed to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all!
> 
> Thank you to everyone that has followed this story. It was a much needed journey of fluff I needed to take. And, I'm such a sucker for some Seed fluff!
> 
> Love  
> Luna

_Hope County Veteran’s Center_

On my day off I chose to spend some time with Jacob at the VA. He was happily sitting at his desk with Bug in his lap. He couldn’t get enough of her. He wanted to be around Bug as much as possible, and Bug was not complaining! She had grown so attached to him that if he didn’t stay the night at the house she flew into a world-class fit! His moving into my home was more so she would sleep through the night than what some thought: that we couldn’t stop boning.

I was reclined on the couch in his large office, reading a book that I had been attempting to finish for the past two years, and munched on saltines. The little baggie I had taken to carrying with me at all times was now situated nicely next to my hip as I reclined comfortably.

Jacob’s voice sounded, full of concern and amusement, “Can’t get enough of those, huh?”

I looked at him over the pages of my book and smiled at him, a smile full of snark, and said, “Just snacking babe.” Then returned to my book. My stomach had been churning for the past couple days and all I was able to keep down was saltines. In the back of my mind a little voice was screaming at me, but I was explaining it away. Bug had been sick recently and, surely, I had just caught a stomach virus from her.

“Uh-huh.” He replied as he stood up with Bug giggling at her new place on his shoulders. She patted at his head and giggled more as he made airplane noises as he jogged around the room. When he ended her plane ride with a perfect landing on the carpet where her other toys were, he added, “Look, I know we just kinda fell in with each other, but I’m in this.”

I set my book down, as well at the saltine I had been munching, and said, “I know that, Jake.” He looked at me, a hand reached out to take one of mine. He seemed concerned. “Jake, what’s going on with you?”

He inhaled slowly and said, “I’m worried about you, Pup. You don’t eat. When you do you hurl it right back up.” He placed a kiss to my hand and took a slow breath, “It would make me feel better if you took a pregnancy test.”

I blinked. So, he had the same little voice in the back of his head screaming at him. I nodded and said, “It would be the smart thing to do.” But the fear started to settle in. No, I couldn’t be pregnant. That last time I had been pregnant and told the father…

Jacob kissed me, suddenly and fiercely. His beard tickled my skin as his hands held either side of my face. Admittedly, though I didn’t want to, I melted. I could feel how he felt for me in that kiss. It was love. I could _feel_ it. “Leah, I’m not like him. I won’t abandon you. I just want to know, definitively, either way.” He reached in the front pocket of his jacket and produced a test, offering it to me.

I nodded against his forehead as I took the little thing. The very little thing that would change our future. One way it would grow our little family. The other we would mourn what could have been. I wasn’t sure which was more terrifying. Jacob seemed to sense my worry and kissed me again. His whispered words gave me a reassurance I desperately needed, “Leah, I need you to understand that no matter the result, I am with you. I’m not leaving.”

~~

_Bathroom at VA: A Few Minutes Later_

There it was. Plain as day. The result wasn’t shocking as much as it was eye opening. What had we done? How nonchalant we had been about it all! And now… well, what now?

A knock preceded the door opening. Of course, Jacob would wait for me to come out with the news. He walked to the stall I had closed myself in and just stood, “Leah.” Just… of course.

I sighed and just opened the stall and handed him the test as I walked to the sink. I didn’t make eye contact as I began washing and said, “Look, I know that we just fell in with each other. But that doesn’t mean you owe me anything.” I was bracing for him to leave, to not want this. I was bracing for the inevitable.

What I wasn’t prepared for was the sudden ambush from the soldier. I found myself quickly pushed up onto the counter, his body between my legs, and his arms around me with his face in the crook of my neck. The strong protector was hugging me. He was vibrating… from tears that were soaking into my hair. He whispered into my skin, “Thank you. Thank you!”

I held him in my arms, legs wrapping around him too, “Jacob.” I didn’t know what to say to his reaction. He was thanking me. He wanted this. He wanted this child! I began crying, unable to hold in the overwhelming feeling that came with realizing he wanted this baby!

“I owe you so much, Leah. You’ve given me such happiness, and now you’ve given me another child!” He leaned back enough to look at me, eyes full of hope.

I raised a brow and asked, “Another child?” I smiled wide, unable to hide the happiness I felt at his choice of words. He blushed a bit and hesitantly placed a hand on my still flat stomach.

“You and Bug have become my whole world. She’s mine too. And now we’ve got another on the way.” He looked back to my eyes and asked, “Would you be upset if I wanted a little boy?”

I giggled and placed a hand over his, “I think a little boy would round out the family. But it could be a girl.”

He smiled, realizing that we could have a little girl. His eyes sparkled as he picked me up and kissed me, “Another girl would be perfect.”

~~

_Joseph’s Church  
12 Weeks Pregnant_

With Jacob holding Bug – who was sleeping soundly snuggled up with her stuffed wolf – I walked proudly to the doors of the church. We had asked his family to meet us at the church for some important news.

Jacob smiled warmly at, taking my hand to stop me before entering the church. His eyes were kind and the way that he looked at me was as if he held such love for me – something we had yet to say to one another, as if we were scared to. But in that very moment he placed a soft kiss to my lips and said, “I wanted to say thank you. You gave an old man a shot and as a result I’ve never been happier. I love you, Leah.”

I smiled back, tears pricking my eyes, and said as I placed a hand on my stomach, “I love you too, Jacob. You’ve proven to be everything I wanted and everything she needed.” We both pecked small kisses to Bug’s forehead as we began our walk inside the church again. I couldn’t help the look down at my ring finger, a simple silver band on my ring finger, and take a slow breath. Things were falling in place. Now it was time to tell everyone.

The doors opened and sure enough there they were. Faith’s happiness at seeing Bug sleeping soundly in Jacob’s arms was visible to everyone. John was reclined on the pews right before the pulpit, relaxing though he seemed curious as to why we asked them all there. Joseph was gnawing his finger slightly, a nervous habit I had noticed he had.

Faith was bouncing nearly uncontrollably as we joined them, hands held out to take Bug. Jacob just rolled his eyes as the dutiful sister of the Seed family took the little child and cooed over her and her wolf. She settled into the pew, content with holding her niece, and waited for us to explain.

Before we could say anything, Joseph inhaled sharply. Immediately following that sound I found my hand taking in both of his. The religious leader was staring in awe at the silver ring I wore. From behind his glasses, tears threatened to fall. John caught on and leaned forward, realizing what they were all there for. Faith was about to burst with happiness, from the looks of her shoulders lifted nearly to her ears.

Jacob smiled, placed a hand on my waist, and said, “Well, guess you’ve figured it out.”

Joseph looked up to his brother and asked in awe, “Is this what I think it is? Have you really proposed?” He looked back to the ring and then to me, eyes begging us to answer. I nodded and was immediately crushed by Joseph’s arms. He was so happy! “Leah, I’m so happy!”

Jacob, however, worried over me a bit and pried Joseph’s arms from me, “Careful there!”

John and Faith noted their brother’s reaction and both their mouths slowly dropped open in shock. Joseph lost the fight to hold back his tears and dropped to his knees, hands on my hips, “You’re pregnant!”

I giggled and said, “Well, I guess there’s only one thing left to tell.” Jacob smirked as his family gave quizzical looks. I couldn’t help but continue to giggle as Joseph stood up, fussing over me and insisting that I sit down.

John chuckled and asked, “Well, what is it? What more could there be?”

Jacob nodded and said, giving an amused look to Joseph who was still fussing over my comfort, “We want to use the church for a ceremony.” He walked to Faith and gently caressed Bug’s still chubby cheek, “I’m adopting Dinah.”

~~

_The End_

_~~_


End file.
